We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?
Sample Response
The invention of the computer is referred to as one of the most significant technological breakthroughsan epic among the other technological breakthroughs of the last centuryof last century. The role of computers in today’s lifestyle has reached such dizzy heights that anyone could ever have imaginedthan anyone could ever imagine! CertainlyRighteously, theirits use in various fields of medicine, crime investigation and even aerospace engineering is evidentexplicit. In the midst of a computer-driven world, their future applicationsits future purposes are infinite. The affinity that humans have developedhuman has developed for this technological gizmo is monumental and this dependency is debatable for many peopledependency, for many is moot.
In the present scenario, the majority of the fieldsmajority of the fields, mankind thrives on are revolutionised by computers. TheirIts significance in the medical field, for instance, is considerablequite imperative. For example, from the safeguarding of patient medical records to the automated and meticulous interpretation of investigation reports, are computerised. The role of computers in crime investigation is indispensablerather inevitable nowadays. Global satellite tracking on personal gadgets of criminals to chase them down would exemplify this. Another significant technological impact computers made is in the aerospace, where, even flying an aircraft has become computerised, dubious whether Charles Babbage envisaged the same?
The future use of computers by the human kind is endless. To name or pinpointpinpoint on its future prospectsprospectives would be cumbersome or rather impossible. Some believe that in near future, computers will serve the purpose of being a primary source of helpthe 'first hand 'of help to humans. A globalised world under the umbrella of the computer revolution is no longer as far-fetched as it once wasnot as far-sighted as before. The very existence computer operated human robots that could even replace a human, is no longer a mythis not a myth anymore.
Now having discoursed, about the computer revolution and its effects on mankind, a question of one getting dependent on computers is impeccable. In this globalised world, computer addiction is a major concern unattended. Children spending long hours on computers and its misuse in workplaces by employees is ubiquitous and a generally accorded bane.
In my opinion, as humans, one should be able to imbibe the virtues and reject the vice, when it comes to using computers.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response shows its greatest strength in attempting a broad range of vocabulary and organising the discussion into recognisable stages. However, much of the essay describes current computer use, while predictions are vague and the position on whether dependence is beneficial or dangerous remains underdeveloped. The highest-priority improvement is to answer both questions directly with specific future applications and a clearly reasoned evaluation of the benefits and risks.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both questions, but future uses receive vague development and the final view on dependence is insufficiently explained.
Devote one developed paragraph to concrete future uses and another to a clear judgement supported by benefits and risks.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and signposting provide a broadly clear progression, although some sentences and examples connect loosely to the central argument.
Use focused topic sentences and ensure every example directly advances the answer to one of the two questions.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts varied and less common vocabulary, but frequent miscollocations and word-choice errors reduce precision.
Prioritise accurate natural collocations and replace misused words such as impeccable and prospectives with simpler precise alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of complex forms is attempted, but recurring article, agreement, clause, and punctuation errors weaken control.
Edit each complex sentence for a complete main clause, accurate subject-verb agreement, and controlled comma use.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.