We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?
Sample Response
We are well aware of the latest technology and gadgets used around us. In all the electronic gadgets use of computers has been increased a lot in our day to day life. It has a big role in almost all the places in our society. Like hospitals, police stations, crime detections, aeroplanes, where computers can be used to keep a record of a patient history, current status of his disease, to keep the records of crimes in a particular city, to measure air pressure, whether condition to give updated information and so on.
The computer has made our life so comfortable and easy. In old days we used to keep all records in a file which was manual and paperwork. It used to take so much of space to store lots of files, need to remember all the files where it had been placed so that search will be easy and people need to be hired to give the safety to those files. This all hectic task has been replaced by a small computer. Now there is no paperwork and everything can be stored in a 1 TB hard disk. It’s portable to carry from one place to another share the information easily and can search a record in a fraction of seconds.
Moreover, it can be used in other activity also like if we want to research on something or to know anything worldwide we can plug in internet connection to computers and Google any information. It also helps students in their studies like to read books, painting, sketching, mathematics calculation or any other work related to study. This type we are almost dependent on computers in various means. In my opinion, there will be some other concepts of computers in the future. For example, we give instructions to computers to perform any operation. The computer cannot do anything unless we are not passing instructions to it. But in the future, there is a possibility to program a computer in such manner it will decide what operations need to perform in what scenarios and how to solve any type of issue, which is called Robot. Our scientists are working hard on the various research like life after death and to clone a human with the help of computers. This invention will cross ever limit of life and we would be able to make anything possible which seems impossible now.
Dependency on computers can be helpful or can bring serious issues also in our life. For example, if a robot is programmed to trouble human or to create problems it will be a serious threat for us. Robot computers can do anything like murder, robbery, bomb blasting as it would not have any emotion to think about the human and the pain of life loss, which can bring disaster.
So in my Opinion excess of anything is bad. We can be in a soup if anything goes wrong in the programming of high-end human computers. Using computers is good to some extent but it should not go beyond the usual limit and our natural lifestyle.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use formal collocation Original: big Suggested revision: major Why it matters: “A major role” is more precise and formal in an academic essay.
- 2. Add possessive form Original: patient Suggested revision: patient’s Why it matters: The history belongs to the patient, so a possessive form is required.
- 3. Correct word and number Original: whether condition Suggested revision: weather conditions Why it matters: “Whether” is the wrong word, and the general reference requires the plural “conditions.”
- 4. Use fixed time phrase Original: In old days Suggested revision: In the past Why it matters: “In the past” is the standard expression for this general time reference.
- 5. Repair noun structure Original: a file which was manual and paperwork Suggested revision: manual paper files Why it matters: The original relative clause illogically describes a file as both “manual” and “paperwork.”
- 6. Correct determiner agreement Original: This all hectic task Suggested revision: All these hectic tasks Why it matters: The determiner and noun must both agree with the multiple activities described.
- 7. Correct number and order Original: in other activity also Suggested revision: in other activities too Why it matters: The noun should be plural and the adverb is more naturally placed at the end.
- 8. Use transitive verb Original: research on something Suggested revision: research something Why it matters: “Research” can take the topic directly as its object in this construction.
- 9. Repair prepositional phrase Original: plug in internet connection to computers Suggested revision: connect computers to the internet Why it matters: The original verb and prepositions do not form a grammatical expression.
- 10. Make list parallel Original: like to read books, painting, sketching, mathematics calculation Suggested revision: by helping them read books, paint, sketch, and perform mathematical calculations Why it matters: The activities need parallel verb forms and the correct plural noun phrase.
- 11. Use correct expression Original: means Suggested revision: ways Why it matters: “In various ways” is the idiomatic expression for different forms of dependence.
- 12. Remove double negation Original: unless we are not passing instructions Suggested revision: unless we give it instructions Why it matters: The negative meaning of “unless” makes the additional “not” incorrect.
Suggested Rewrites
- big major
- patient patient’s
- whether condition weather conditions
- In old days In the past
- a file which was manual and paperwork manual paper files
- This all hectic task All these hectic tasks
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response offers a recognisable position and relevant ideas about intelligent machines, automation, and possible risks, with a generally understandable progression. However, extensive discussion of present-day uses leaves the future-use question unevenly developed, and frequent grammatical and collocational errors reduce precision; the priority is to plan one focused paragraph for future applications and another for the benefits and dangers of dependence, then edit sentences for complete, accurate structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are addressed and a position is given, but future uses receive uneven development while substantial space describes current applications.
Develop two or three plausible future uses with clear explanations, then weigh their benefits against specific dependence-related risks.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a broadly logical sequence and uses paragraphs, though several long sections contain loosely connected examples and unclear references.
Give each body paragraph one explicit purpose and remove examples that do not directly advance that paragraph's central point.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary to discuss technology and risk, but frequent spelling, word-form, and collocational errors make expression imprecise.
Proofread recurring combinations such as weather conditions, patients' histories, research into, and dependence on computers.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts varied complex sentences, but frequent errors in articles, agreement, clause construction, and sentence boundaries reduce accuracy.
Use shorter complete sentences while checking every clause for a subject, finite verb, correct article, and logical connector.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.