Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?
Sample Response
Nowadays, happiness is considered very important in life, while some people argue that it is difficult to define. I believe that several factors are important in achieving happiness.
Different people have different definitions of happiness. The main reason is that people have different experiencesexperience and goals to achieve. For example, a student'sstudent‘s important goal may be to achieve good grades. This could make them feel happy. By contrast, elderly peoplethe elderly people hope that they are healthy. Therefore, it is hard to define happiness forwith different people because they all have their own goals.
There are several factors in achieving happiness. One of the most important is families. This is because people can communicate with and support each other when they face difficulties. I think it is a great way to unwind and recharge. As a result, they reduce their stress and experience happinessgain happy feelings. Furthermore, physical health is another factor as important as familyfamilies. If people are not healthy, they may be unable tohave no ability to complete their tasks. Thus, they cannot gain a sense of achievement from their tasksgain achievements from the task. This leads them away from happiness. In addition, financial stability is also a necessary factor. Enough money allows people to meet their basic needs, such as food, housing and transportation. This can release people from pressurethe pressure.
In conclusion, happiness is very important in our daily life. Although different people have different definitions of happiness, I believe that several factors in achieving happiness are sharedfactors in achieving happiness are in common, such as families, physical health and financial stability.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay directly addresses both prompt questions with a clear position and relevant, well-organized supporting points. The main limitation is a reliance on relatively simple sentence patterns and repetitive vocabulary choices. To raise the overall quality, focus on using a wider range of sophisticated vocabulary and varying clause structures to enhance fluency and precision.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions in the prompt are answered directly with clear main ideas and relevant supporting examples.
Elaborate further on key ideas by providing more depth in the explanations rather than listing multiple distinct points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is logical and ideas progress clearly overall, though some transitions between sentences feel slightly repetitive.
Use a broader variety of linking words and cohesive devices to connect ideas more naturally across sentences.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is generally accurate and sufficient to convey meaning, including some good topical phrases like financial stability.
Reduce the repetition of common words such as happiness, important, and factors by using synonyms and varied phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentences are mostly clear and correct, demonstrating good basic control despite occasional minor grammatical errors.
Incorporate more complex structures, such as relative clauses and conditional sentences, while maintaining accuracy.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.