Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?
Sample Response
It has been observed that cheerfulness is an integral part of our life. However, it seems a herculean task to express it. Out of many reasons, the prominent one is that it is a state of mind. There are many factors that people can consider to obtain happiness, such as a positive outlook, pursuing one’s favourite activities.
To begin with, joy is difficult to define because it is a state of mind. To elaborate, people act differently to each other about a thing. It depends on their perception. Healthy minds always have a positive outlook for anything, which may be, in reality, is not their cup of tea. But with courage, confidence, they do not get depressed and always remain in a state of ecstasy. For instance, a glass that is filled with some water is considered half glass of water, but for others, it is full. Therefore, it depends on the perspective of the masses, how they perceive anything. Moreover, some masses are not emotionally balanced, so they get fail to express their contentment. They just can feel it and show it by wearing some kind gesture such as a smile.
On the other hand, there are many ways to get it. Firstly, developing a positive outlook can work wonders. If people think positive and avoid negativity; then, there are higher chances of getting success. A pessimistic outlook can make people only depressed, and they would not try to be satisfied with their lot. Resultantly, they will do overthinking, and this overthinking will become a root cause of their discontented life. To exemplify it, many people, after getting failed in any job interview or exam, stop doing efforts to obtain their goals. Hence, they make lame excuses and curse their destiny. At the same time, the others who do not quit and their continued efforts bring the reward for them in the end.
To conclude, thus, it is apparent that although it is hard to express happiness due to the perception of people who is widely different from each other, it can be achieved by inculcating optimism for anything, which may be hard to get. Continuous attempts make a person winner and fill his/her heart with everlasting joy.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural noun Original: life Suggested revision: lives Why it matters: The plural possessive context requires lives when referring to people collectively.
- 2. Use precise verb Original: express Suggested revision: define Why it matters: Define directly matches the difficulty identified in the task and the following explanation.
- 3. Improve opening phrase Original: Out of many reasons Suggested revision: Among the many reasons Why it matters: Among is the natural preposition when selecting one reason from a group.
- 4. Use superlative form Original: the prominent one Suggested revision: the most prominent one Why it matters: The superlative form clearly identifies this as the leading reason among several.
- 5. Make examples parallel Original: such as a positive outlook, pursuing one’s favourite activities Suggested revision: such as maintaining a positive outlook and pursuing one’s favourite activities Why it matters: Both examples need parallel verb forms and a conjunction.
- 6. Fix awkward phrasing Original: act differently to each other about a thing Suggested revision: react differently to the same thing Why it matters: The replacement states the comparison with natural verb and preposition choices.
- 7. Correct preposition Original: for Suggested revision: on Why it matters: The noun outlook takes the preposition on in this meaning.
- 8. Repair clause grammar Original: which may be, in reality, is not their cup of tea Suggested revision: even when it is not to their liking Why it matters: The original clause contains two competing finite verbs and an unclear relative reference.
- 9. Join paired nouns Original: with courage, confidence Suggested revision: with courage and confidence Why it matters: The two coordinated nouns require a conjunction.
- 10. Link ideas clearly Original: the perspective of the masses, how they perceive anything Suggested revision: people’s perspectives and how they perceive things Why it matters: The conjunction correctly links the two related objects of depends on.
- 11. Use correct noun Original: masses Suggested revision: people Why it matters: Masses cannot naturally refer to an unspecified subset of individuals in this structure.
- 12. Remove extra verb Original: get fail to express Suggested revision: fail to express Why it matters: Fail already functions as the finite verb, so get is incorrect here.
Suggested Rewrites
- life lives
- express define
- Out of many reasons Among the many reasons
- the prominent one the most prominent one
- such as a positive outlook, pursuing one’s favourite activities such as maintaining a positive outlook and pursuing one’s favourite activities
- act differently to each other about a thing react differently to the same thing
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response addresses both questions and uses a clear paragraph structure, with relevant ideas about subjectivity, optimism, and persistence. Its main limitation is that explanations sometimes become repetitive or logically unclear, while frequent awkward word choices and grammatical errors weaken precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop fewer factors more clearly, using natural collocations and carefully controlled sentence structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the task are addressed, and the main ideas are relevant, though support is sometimes repetitive, narrow, or insufficiently clear.
Explain two distinct factors for happiness with precise causal reasoning and examples that directly demonstrate each factor.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a recognisable progression and appropriate paragraphing, but mechanical linking and repetition sometimes weaken the flow of ideas.
Use fewer formulaic transitions and ensure each sentence advances the paragraph's central claim instead of restating it.
Lexical Resource
There is a reasonable range of vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices make the expression unnatural and occasionally unclear.
Replace misused phrases such as do overthinking, get fail, and wearing some kind gesture with simple, idiomatic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of sentence forms is attempted, but recurring errors in agreement, clause construction, punctuation, and word forms reduce accuracy.
Prioritise accurate complex sentences by checking subject-verb agreement and removing unnecessary clause elements before adding further complexity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.