World history suggests that violence and conflict were more evident under male leadership than under female leadership. So, for peace to prevail, female leadership can be considered as a better option than male leadership. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Though some people argue that war and conflicts among nations and within a territory are impersonal regardless of men and women leaders, the history suggests that world saw less violence, war and conflicts under female leaders. Considering this in in mind I suggest the idea that female leadership can be considered for a better world. The major World Wars, conflicts among nations, civil wars mostly caused by the male ego, assassinations and conflicts of interests among men. Very few female leaders contributed making decisions to have war with other nations in their period of ruling a country. Sometimes people often mention the Trojan War and convict a female as the main reason for this war. But the fact is, it is not even a historically approved war and its root lies more in mythology than in evidence. And even if it was true, female leaders were not even remotely involved deciding to start the war. Though the number of male rulers throughout the history is much more compared to the number of female leaders and very few major wars could be related to the decision or action taken by women. Women are naturally mild-hearted and avoid conflicts and wars by all means. They are more caring and less violent by their prototypes and that makes them better leaders in terms of serving people. The leader who is caring and has the mentality to serve people would naturally be a good leader and women are better candidates than men in this regards. In summary, the idea of female leadership in terms of avoiding wars and serving nations better is indeed a good idea.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add required preposition Original: contributed making Suggested revision: contributed to making Why it matters: The verb 'contribute' requires 'to' before a gerund.
- 2. Use correct expression Original: to have war with Suggested revision: to go to war with Why it matters: 'Go to war with' is the standard expression for beginning armed conflict.
- 3. Use concise wording Original: in their period of ruling a country Suggested revision: during their time in power Why it matters: This phrase communicates the period of leadership more naturally.
- 4. Remove redundant frequency Original: Sometimes people often Suggested revision: People often Why it matters: 'Sometimes' and 'often' conflict and duplicate the same frequency function.
- 5. Choose the correct verb Original: convict a female Suggested revision: identify a woman Why it matters: 'Convict' refers to finding someone guilty of a crime and does not fit this claim.
- 6. Use precise causation Original: main reason for this war Suggested revision: main cause of this war Why it matters: 'Cause' is more precise than 'reason' for describing what initiated a war.
- 7. Use a concise transition Original: But the fact is, Suggested revision: However, Why it matters: This transition links the rebuttal directly without an unnecessary framing clause.
- 8. Correct the collocation Original: historically approved war Suggested revision: historically verified event Why it matters: Historical claims are 'verified' rather than 'approved'.
- 9. Use plural agreement Original: its root lies Suggested revision: its roots lie Why it matters: The idiomatic plural noun 'roots' requires the plural verb 'lie'.
- 10. Use hypothetical form Original: And even if it was true Suggested revision: Even if the story were true Why it matters: 'Were' correctly marks the hypothetical condition and 'the story' clarifies the reference.
- 11. Add required preposition Original: involved deciding Suggested revision: involved in deciding Why it matters: 'Involved' requires 'in' before the gerund in this construction.
- 12. Remove the article Original: throughout the history Suggested revision: throughout history Why it matters: The general uncountable sense of 'history' does not take 'the' here.
Suggested Rewrites
- contributed making contributed to making
- to have war with to go to war with
- in their period of ruling a country during their time in power
- Sometimes people often People often
- convict a female identify a woman
- main reason for this war main cause of this war
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response maintains a clear agreement with female leadership and offers a recognizable line of argument, including an attempt to address historical evidence. Its main limitation is that the case depends heavily on broad gender generalizations and remains insufficiently supported, while frequent grammatical and collocational errors weaken precision. The highest-priority improvement is to organize the response into developed paragraphs built around specific, credible evidence and carefully controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response gives a clear position and addresses the question, but its main claims are generalized, repetitive, and only partly supported.
Replace assumptions about inherent male and female traits with specific historical evidence and explain how that evidence proves the leadership claim.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a generally recognizable sequence, but presenting the entire response as one paragraph weakens organization and makes links between ideas less clear.
Use an introduction, separate body paragraphs for distinct reasons, and a conclusion so each stage of the argument develops coherently.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss leadership and conflict, but frequent inaccurate choices and collocations reduce precision and naturalness.
Use more accurate expressions for historical responsibility and personal characteristics, and avoid phrases such as convict a female and by their prototypes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied sentence structures, but frequent errors with articles, agreement, prepositions, fragments, and clause construction remain noticeable.
Prioritize complete sentence formation and systematically check articles, verb patterns, and subject-verb agreement during revision.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
World history suggests that violence and conflict were more evident under male leadership than under female leadership. So, for peace to prevail, female leadership can be considered as a better option than male leadership. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.