World history suggests that violence and conflict were more evident under male leadership than under female leadership. So, for peace to prevail, female leadership can be considered as a better option than male leadership. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Certain people think that violence and conflict were more evident under male leadership than under female leadership since the dawn of timesince the dawn of the time. Throughout historyThroughout the history, maleMale leadership encourages violence and other peoplesome other sets of people suggest considering female leadership to prevail peace. The issue of whether or notThe issue whether or not 'female leadership can be considered as a better option to prevail peace' is always debatablealways a debatable issue. There are strong arguments from both sidesboth the sides and let us discuss in detailin a detailed way. Firstly, World history clearly suggests that violence wassuggests violence were more evident under male leadership.An instance illustrating this in action is first and second world wars.Male leadership encouraged violence in those two world warsthose 2 worlds wars and it is proved that violence is more evident under male leadership.In addition to this, women are against violence by nature and suffer a lot because of the violence thus the women leadership always try to prevail peace. For example, some Asian countries tried to restore the peace during women leadership. It is obvious from this that women leadership can be considered to bring back peace. Therethe peace There is always an opposite side of the coin. Certain female leadersCertain women leadership proved that they are ready to encourage violence. To illustrate this, Pakistan started a war under female leadership, and thisduring women leadership and it clearly proves that peace cannot be restored by changing leadership. In addition to this, Bangladesh also saw a great deal of internal violence under female leadershipduring women leadership only. It is clearly proved that violence can be evident also under female leadershipunder women leadership also. Thus it is recommended, to prevail peace in all circumstances irrespective of women or men leadership. Peace can prevail in many ways and consider female leadership is only one of those options.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The essay considers evidence on both male and female leaders and eventually reaches a nuanced conclusion that gender alone cannot secure peace. Its strongest feature is the attempt to test the claim against counterexamples; the main limitation is that the position appears late, historical references remain vague, and the entire response is unparagraphized. The priority is to state the degree of agreement in the introduction and develop two evidence-based body paragraphs before a direct conclusion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both sides are considered and the conclusion implies partial disagreement, but the position is delayed and the historical examples are vague, generalized, and insufficiently explained.
State clearly that leadership gender alone does not determine peace, then support this with specific leaders, conflicts, and relevant causal analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion
A broad movement from male-led conflict to female-led counterexamples and a conclusion is recognizable, but absent paragraphing and repetitive assertions weaken progression.
Use separate introduction, supporting view, counterargument, and conclusion paragraphs, each controlled by a clear topic sentence.
Lexical Resource
The topic is communicated through some relevant vocabulary, but frequent repetition and awkward collocations such as “prevail peace” and “women leadership” restrict precision.
Use natural terms such as “promote peace,” “female leadership,” “male-led governments,” “armed conflict,” and “gender is not decisive.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in agreement, articles, capitalization, sentence boundaries, and clause construction occur throughout and sometimes strain readability.
Write shorter complete sentences and check forms such as “violence was,” “the world wars,” “female leaders try,” and “regardless of gender.”
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IELTS Writing Task 2
World history suggests that violence and conflict were more evident under male leadership than under female leadership. So, for peace to prevail, female leadership can be considered as a better option than male leadership. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.