World history suggests that violence and conflict were more evident under male leadership than under female leadership. So, for peace to prevail, female leadership can be considered as a better option than male leadership. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
World history isThe world history is full of conflicts and wars and most of them were led by male leaders. Considering this, a school of thought suggests that women leadership could be a great solution to establish the peace in the world while another group of thought opposes that idea. I strongly believe that it is not the gender of a leader that determines whether peace prevailsdetermines the peace. In fact, this has nothing to do with bringing orderhas nothing to do to bring order in the world but honest and prudent leaders with the required attributeswith required attributes, irrespective of gender, will fosterharness peace. There are a number of examples in recent history that show that violence actually increased under female leaders. For example, the wave of unrest in Indian-administered Kashmir is contributing to a great loss of human life and it is being ruledits being ruled by a female chief minister, Mrs Muftia female chief minister Mrs Mufti. Similarly, the latest streak of killings and stabbings of writers and foreigners in Bangladesh is known to the worldis known to world and Bangladesh’s prime minister is a woman—Sheikh Hasinaa female- Sheikh Hasina. There are several piecesshreds of evidence of mass killings of religious minorities in Burma and the leader of this state is also a female. So history might suggest that many wars and killings occurred under the male rulers but we cannot generalise and attribute this solely to the male gendertag this with male gender only. More than 95% of leadersMore than 95% leaders in the world history were males so wars and conflicts were mostly attributed to them. We cannot guarantee that if we had more than 95% female leaders instead of male, there would have been no conflict or unrestthere would have no conflict and unrest. Recent evidence under female leadership does not advocate for that at all. On the other hand, to stop brutalities, injustice and unrest all around the world and to infuse peace in the world, we need leaders with strong leadership abilities and desirable qualitiesstrong leadership ability and greater qualities. Furthermore, leaders should take ownership of all wrongdoing and shortcomingsall the wrongdoings and shortfall in the system and maketake decisions to rectify them. Leaders should understand that peace will be achieved by empowering peoplewith giving strength to people by establishing a fair socioeconomic balancefair socio-economic balance. Delivering the young generation quality education, healthcare service, economic security, social facilities are important for the government to build a peaceful and self-reliant generation. To conclude, leaders should be charismatic and possess an exemplary personality to influence the youth and inspire them to go out and dedicate themselves to the well-being of societydedicate for the well-being of the society. Interestingly, both male and female leaders should do that and being a female leader would not provide any competitive advantage to establish the peace. Strong traits of leadership will ensure that peace and justice prevailpeace and justice to prevail. Gender specific leadership will not guaranteeguaranty world order.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear disagreement and develops a substantial case that leadership qualities and social policies matter more than gender, supported by historical reasoning and contemporary examples. Its main limitation is that the entire essay appears as one dense block and several claims or collocations lack precision; the priority is to structure the argument into distinct paragraphs and scrutinise the causal relevance of each example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A consistent position is explored through relevant counterexamples, proportional reasoning, and an alternative account of how leaders create peace.
Explain more carefully whether each cited conflict was caused by leadership, rather than merely occurring while a woman held office.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses coherently from counterexamples to preferred leadership qualities, but the absence of paragraphing seriously reduces readability.
Divide the essay into an introduction, a counterexample paragraph, a leadership-solutions paragraph, and a concise conclusion.
Lexical Resource
A broad range of vocabulary supports discussion of conflict, governance, justice, and social policy, despite recurring awkward collocations.
Use more natural phrases such as promote peace, female leadership, known worldwide, and guarantee world order.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are used and meaning remains clear, although errors in articles, conditionals, agreement, and complementation recur.
Review hypothetical conditional forms and article use, especially in long sentences presenting historical comparisons.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
World history suggests that violence and conflict were more evident under male leadership than under female leadership. So, for peace to prevail, female leadership can be considered as a better option than male leadership. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.