The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Same question Compare all 4 answers See different approaches and band scores for this IELTS task.Sample Response
All things considered that to ensure citizens of homes, the buiding of the high-rises by far great idea. As I see it this way providing cities with flat blocks have many advantages.
At first, admittedly that building new apartments isn't a far process, but a bulding some detached houses analogously takes a long time. In result which way better? As far as I think,we need for big town choose big flats, because it's can safe space in the city. For instance, In one condominium can be about two hundred plus flats and there may live more families. As opposed to house, where the space is tiny.
Secondly, it's saving efficient infrastructure. The construction of tall apartment can save more resourses in one place, instead of instal severage in every home. From economical side the choise of block of flats more convenient way.
The next advantage of building multi-storey it's a less urban sprawl. In this way we will have more free space for other essential places and for forests. Also the important reason it's convenient location, you have your work and servises near you home.
Beyond any doubt the building of skyscraper have some disadvantages. Certainly most of people will complaine about noise and a few private space, because your neighbourds locate behind the wall. Alongside past reason, the problem lack of gardens, kitchen gardens and others amenities which you can have in private house.
As was previously stated, as I see building an apartment bulding it's great way for saving space and environment, this better then building a large amount of single homes. It more convinient choice for saving place for forests and nature.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Unclear sentence structure Original: All things considered that to ensure citizens of homes, the buiding of the high-rises by far great idea. Suggested revision: All things considered, building high-rises is a great idea to provide citizens with homes. Why it matters: The original phrasing lacks clear structure and is grammatically incomplete.
- 2. Subject-verb agreement Original: providing cities with flat blocks have many advantages. Suggested revision: providing cities with blocks of flats has many advantages. Why it matters: The singular gerund subject 'providing' requires the verb 'has'.
- 3. Grammatical accuracy Original: At first, admittedly that building new apartments isn't a far process, but a bulding some detached houses analogously takes a long time. Suggested revision: Firstly, building new apartments is a fast process, whereas building detached houses takes a long time. Why it matters: Rephrasing cleans up non-standard constructions such as 'admittedly that' and 'a far process'.
- 4. Incomplete rhetorical question Original: In result which way better? Suggested revision: As a result, which option is better? Why it matters: Add the missing auxiliary verb to make a correct question.
- 5. Grammar and word choice Original: we need for big town choose big flats, because it's can safe space in the city. Suggested revision: we need to choose large flats for big towns because they can save space in the city. Why it matters: Use 'they can save' to match the plural referent 'flats'.
- 6. Sentence structure Original: In one condominium can be about two hundred plus flats and there may live more families. Suggested revision: In one condominium, there can be over two hundred flats where many families can live. Why it matters: Correct the clause structure for smoother readability.
- 7. Sentence fragment Original: As opposed to house, where the space is tiny. Suggested revision: This contrasts with detached houses, where space is limited. Why it matters: Convert this dependent clause into a complete sentence.
- 8. Word choice Original: saving efficient infrastructure. Suggested revision: supporting efficient infrastructure. Why it matters: Use 'supporting' or 'maintaining' instead of 'saving' to describe infrastructure.
- 9. Spelling and form error Original: resourses in one place, instead of instal severage in every home. Suggested revision: resources in one place, instead of installing sewerage in every home. Why it matters: Correct the spellings of 'resources' and 'sewerage', and use the gerund 'installing'.
- 10. Missing verb and spelling Original: From economical side the choise of block of flats more convenient way. Suggested revision: From an economic perspective, choosing a block of flats is a more convenient option. Why it matters: Insert the verb 'is' and correct 'economical' to 'economic'.
- 11. Grammar error Original: The next advantage of building multi-storey it's a less urban sprawl. Suggested revision: The next advantage of building multi-storey blocks is reduced urban sprawl. Why it matters: Remove 'it's a' and complete the phrase with 'blocks'.
- 12. Spelling and pronoun error Original: servises near you home. Suggested revision: services near your home. Why it matters: Fix the spelling of 'services' and use the possessive pronoun 'your'.
Suggested Rewrites
- All things considered that to ensure citizens of homes, the buiding of the high-rises by far great idea. All things considered, building high-rises is a great idea to provide citizens with homes.
- providing cities with flat blocks have many advantages. providing cities with blocks of flats has many advantages.
- At first, admittedly that building new apartments isn't a far process, but a bulding some detached houses analogously takes a long time. Firstly, building new apartments is a fast process, whereas building detached houses takes a long time.
- In result which way better? As a result, which option is better?
- we need for big town choose big flats, because it's can safe space in the city. we need to choose large flats for big towns because they can save space in the city.
- In one condominium can be about two hundred plus flats and there may live more families. In one condominium, there can be over two hundred flats where many families can live.
Why this response received Band 5.0
The essay presents a clear position agreeing that high-rise apartments are effective for urban housing, supporting the stance with several relevant points such as space saving and infrastructure efficiency. However, severe grammatical inaccuracies and frequent vocabulary errors significantly impede readability and coherence throughout the text. To raise the score, focus on improving basic sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and accurate word choices.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
You take a clear stance agreeing with the prompt and provide relevant arguments regarding space saving, infrastructure, and urban sprawl.
Fully develop your main arguments with clearer explanations and reduce brief counter-arguments that are not directly tied back to your main thesis.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but cohesive devices are often misused or overly mechanical, making the flow of ideas disjointed.
Use standard transitional phrases accurately and ensure each paragraph smoothly connects back to your central argument.
Lexical Resource
You attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary related to housing, but spelling errors and inaccurate word choices frequently disrupt meaning.
Focus on accurate spelling and using familiar, precise collocations rather than attempting complex words incorrectly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammatical errors are frequent and pervasive, often causing difficulty for the reader to understand the intended meaning.
Prioritize writing simple, grammatically correct sentences before attempting complex clauses, ensuring accurate clause structures and verb forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.