The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
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Sample Response
In today's fast-paced world, urban areas are becoming extremely overcrowded due to the migrationdiaspora from the countrysidefrom countryside to large cities. Some people state that expanding the number of tall buildings is a substantial solution to the global problem of lack of housing, with whichto with I partially agree.
To begin with, it is evident that a lack of housingit's evident that lack of living facilities leads to profound economic and social issues in many urban areasin a lot of urban area, namely a significant rise in the pricenamely significant rise in price of apartments, which might result in long-term economic downfall of a country. Notion, that constructing large number of tall buildings solves living issue, is partially true, because it provides an opportunity for the government to add accommodations for their citizens without overexpanding the overall urban area. This will definitely alleviate some major and pressing issuesparamount issue of housing but might cause more severe and profoundsever and abysmal problems in thea long run.
While tall buildings seemtall building seems to be an easy solution for government to rectify lack of living area, its drawbacks shouldn't be overlookedleft unnoticed. Such an approachSuch approach will definitely result in exacerbation of overpopulation, which is directly connected to severe traffic jams, lack of employment opportunities and educational infrastructureworking and studying facilities and crowded public transportation. In addition, building tall buildings has an adverse impact on the society in case of major natural disasterstrong environmental disaster, such as earthquakessuch as, earthquakes, which not only makes it impossible for citizens to get to the safe area as quickly as possible but also increases the chance of structural collapses and casualtiesacute and deadly collisions.
To sum up, despite the benefits high-rise buildings providehigh rise building provide for the country in general, safety measures shouldn't be overlooked in order to avoid profound problems. Policymakers should collaborateGovernmental members should reconcile and discuss safediscuss about the safe alternatives they could provide for their citizens in order to mitigate housing issues.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay presents a clear and well-supported position that addresses the prompt directly with relevant main points. However, the work is constrained by frequent grammatical errors and occasional inaccuracies in word choice. To improve your overall performance, focus on refining subject-verb agreement and article usage while ensuring advanced vocabulary is used precisely in context.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
You presented a clear stance throughout the response and supported your main points with relevant explanations.
Elaborate further on concrete alternative housing strategies to strengthen the main arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organized logically across paragraphs with a clear overall progression from intro to conclusion.
Refine transitional phrasing and clause connectors to make structural transitions feel completely natural.
Lexical Resource
You demonstrated a varied vocabulary with several ambitious words, though some terms are used imprecisely.
Ensure less common words like diaspora are applied accurately in their appropriate context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of complex sentences is attempted, but noticeable grammatical slip-ups and missing plurals occur regularly.
Proofread carefully to eliminate basic punctuation issues, noun-number disagreements, and preposition errors.