The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Same question Compare all 6 answers See different approaches and band scores for this IELTS task.Sample Response
It is argued that constructing tall apartments is the best possible solution to mitigate the housing problems in large urban areas. I completely agree with this idea because it can save a lot of space and help the city to attract tourists.
First of all, cities throughout the world have shortage of lands because of a huge migrated population and it can be solved by tall buildings because these types of apartments can accommodate more people than a villa or any other small house. As a result, the urban areas can ensure more residences to its people which can efficiently solve the housing issues in many overcrowded cities. For instance, almost every house in Hongkong city is actually a tall apartment because the city is overpopulated and the buildings need to provide accommodation for as many people as possible. This is why I believe that for saving space require more skyscrapers.
Furthermore, building skyscrapers makes a city more decorated which appeals many tourists from different parts of the world to pay a visit. At the same time, the economy of these areas can rise because of the tourists. Many mega cities have already constructed tall buildings for visitors. For instance, Dubai has many tall buildings which attract the tourists for spending their vacation, boosting the economy of the city. Therefore, tall buildings not only solve the housing problems but attract visitors from different parts of the globe.
In conclusion, the more a city constructs tall apartments the more the city can provide more space to its people. Besides, cities can attract more tourists and improve its financial condition due to skyscrapers.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Article and noun form Original: shortage of lands Suggested revision: a shortage of land Why it matters: The noun 'land' in this context is uncountable and requires an indefinite article before 'shortage'.
- 2. Word choice Original: migrated Suggested revision: migrant Why it matters: Use 'migrant population' to describe people who have moved to a city.
- 3. Preposition error Original: to Suggested revision: for Why it matters: The verb 'ensure' takes the preposition 'for' when referring to beneficiaries.
- 4. Spelling Original: Hongkong Suggested revision: Hong Kong Why it matters: 'Hong Kong' is conventionally written as two separate words.
- 5. Word choice Original: decorated Suggested revision: visually appealing Why it matters: 'Decorated' does not accurately describe city architecture or modern skylines.
- 6. Missing preposition Original: appeals many tourists Suggested revision: appeals to many tourists Why it matters: The verb 'appeal' requires the preposition 'to' before its object.
- 7. Word choice Original: rise Suggested revision: grow Why it matters: 'Grow' or 'expand' is more natural when describing an economy.
- 8. Verb pattern Original: attract the tourists for spending Suggested revision: attracts tourists to spend Why it matters: Use 'attract [object] to [infinitive]' to express purpose correctly.
- 9. Correlative conjunction structure Original: not only solve the housing problems but attract Suggested revision: not only solve housing problems but also attract Why it matters: The paired conjunction 'not only ... but also' requires 'also' to complete the structure.
- 10. Redundant comparative Original: the more a city constructs tall apartments the more the city can provide more space Suggested revision: the more tall apartments a city constructs, the more space it can provide Why it matters: Avoid repeating 'more' redundantly in a parallel comparative structure.
- 11. Pronoun agreement Original: its Suggested revision: their Why it matters: The plural noun 'cities' requires the plural possessive pronoun 'their'.
- 12. Collocation Original: mitigate the housing problems Suggested revision: alleviate housing shortages Why it matters: 'Alleviate housing shortages' is a more natural collocated phrase in formal writing.
Suggested Rewrites
- shortage of lands a shortage of land
- migrated migrant
- to for
- Hongkong Hong Kong
- decorated visually appealing
- appeals many tourists appeals to many tourists
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay presents a clear stance supporting tall apartment blocks to address urban housing shortages and offers relevant supporting arguments. However, the second main paragraph shifts focus away from housing towards tourism, which distracts from the core prompt topic. To improve, ensure all body paragraphs directly address how high-rise developments solve the housing crisis rather than secondary economic benefits.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
You state a clear position, but the focus drifts to tourism in the second body paragraph rather than fully developing the main topic of providing housing.
Ensure every body paragraph directly supports the main prompt focus, such as urban housing capacity, rather than off-topic benefits like tourism.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs with clear topic sentences and basic linking devices.
Use a wider variety of cohesive devices and refine paragraph transitions so ideas flow more naturally.
Lexical Resource
You use adequate vocabulary to address the topic, though there are occasional awkward word choices and repetitive phrasing.
Focus on precise word choice and collocations, avoiding imprecise phrases like 'makes a city more decorated'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences is used with reasonable control, despite minor grammatical and article errors.
Proofread carefully to fix small grammatical inaccuracies, particularly article usage and subject-verb agreement.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.