The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Same question Compare all 5 answers See different approaches and band scores for this IELTS task.Sample Response
As the population of large cities continues to increase, providing enough housing has become a major challenge. I partly agree that building tall apartment blocks is an effective solution. However, I believe it should not be the only way to solve the housing shortage.
On the one hand, high-rise apartment buildings can provide accommodation for a large number of people while using a limited amount of land. This is particularly important in crowded cities where available land is scarce and expensive. In addition, people living in apartment blocks often have easy access to public transport, schools, hospitals, and shopping centres. As a result, they can enjoy a more convenient lifestyle.
On the other hand, relying only on tall buildings may create several problems. If too many people live in one area, it can lead to traffic congestion, overcrowding, and pressure on public services. Furthermore, some families prefer living in houses with private gardens because they offer more space, privacy, and a healthier environment for children. Therefore, governments should also encourage the development of suburban areas and improve transportation so that people can live outside city centres while still commuting easily.
In conclusion, although tall apartment blocks are an efficient way to provide housing in large cities, they should be combined with other solutions. A balanced approach would create better living conditions and meet the needs of different groups of people.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Word choice refinement Original: enough Suggested revision: adequate Why it matters: Using 'adequate' provides a more precise and academic tone than repeating 'enough'.
- 2. Vocabulary variety Original: the only way to solve Suggested revision: the sole approach to addressing Why it matters: Replacing 'only way to solve' enhances the formality and range of academic vocabulary.
- 3. Word choice refinement Original: provide accommodation for Suggested revision: accommodate Why it matters: Using a concise verb like 'accommodate' creates a tighter, more cohesive sentence structure.
- 4. Word choice refinement Original: relying only on tall buildings Suggested revision: relying exclusively on high-rise structures Why it matters: Using 'exclusively' and 'high-rise structures' reduces repetition and demonstrates broader vocabulary.
- 5. Word choice refinement Original: a healthier environment for children. Suggested revision: a more suitable environment for raising children. Why it matters: Expanding this phrase adds precision to the argument regarding family preferences.
- 6. Grammatical variety Original: increase Suggested revision: expand Why it matters: Using 'expand' fits the context of urban populations well and avoids reliance on basic verbs.
- 7. Transition enhancement Original: On the one hand Suggested revision: From one perspective Why it matters: Using 'From one perspective' provides a less formulaic transition into the supportive body paragraph.
- 8. Lexical accuracy Original: crowded cities Suggested revision: densely populated urban centers Why it matters: 'Densely populated urban centers' is more academic than 'crowded cities'.
- 9. Cohesive discourse link Original: In addition Suggested revision: Furthermore Why it matters: 'Furthermore' strengthens the logical progression between the distinct benefits of high-rise living.
- 10. Contrast transition Original: On the other hand Suggested revision: Conversely Why it matters: 'Conversely' introduces the opposing viewpoint with a smoother, higher-level academic cohesive device.
- 11. Word choice refinement Original: create several problems Suggested revision: introduce distinct urban challenges Why it matters: 'Introduce distinct urban challenges' is clearer and more specific than the vague phrase 'create several problems'.
- 12. Task support extension Original: prefer living in houses with private gardens Suggested revision: prefer low-density single-family housing Why it matters: Connecting garden preference directly to low-density housing ties the argument more explicitly back to urban planning options.
Suggested Rewrites
- enough adequate
- the only way to solve the sole approach to addressing
- provide accommodation for accommodate
- relying only on tall buildings relying exclusively on high-rise structures
- a healthier environment for children. a more suitable environment for raising children.
- increase expand
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay presents a well-structured and nuanced position, clearly addressing the prompt with relevant main ideas and logical progression. The response's language control is strong, showing good lexical accuracy and varied sentence structures. The primary limitation is its slightly under-length word count, which briefly limits the depth of topic development. Expanding main ideas with more concrete examples will elevate the work to a higher band score.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
You presented a clear, balanced position throughout the essay, but the response falls slightly below the expected 250-word length.
Elaborate further on your main arguments with specific real-world examples to ensure full development and meet the target word count.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is logical and ideas are connected smoothly using appropriate transitional devices throughout the essay.
Incorporate a wider range of cohesive devices to link complex ideas even more seamlessly between paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is used flexibly and accurately to discuss urban housing challenges with good precision.
Include a few more sophisticated, topic-specific collocations to demonstrate a higher level of lexical resource.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammatical control is consistently sound, featuring a good blend of simple and complex sentence structures with few errors.
Incorporate more advanced complex structures, such as inverted sentences or participle clauses, while maintaining accurate punctuation.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.