The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
This response is estimated at Band 6.5. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
In today's fast-paced world, urban areas are becoming extremely overcrowded due to migrationthe migration from the countryside to large cities. Some people state that increasingexpanding the number of tall buildings is a substantial solution to the global housing shortageglobal problem of lack of housing, with which I partially agree.
To begin with, it is evident that a lack of housing leads to profound economic and social issues in many urban areas , namely a significant rise in the price of apartments, which might result in the long-term economic downfall of a countrylong-term economic downfall of a country. The notion that constructing a large number of tall buildings solves housing issues is partially true, as it allows governments to provide homes without expanding the urban footprint.
This will definitely alleviate some major and pressing issues of housing but might cause more severe and profound problems in the long run.
While high-rise construction may seem like a straightforward way for municipal authorities to address housing shortages, its significant drawbacks must not be overlooked. Such an approach will likely lead todefinitely result in the exacerbation of overpopulationexacerbation of overpopulation, which is directly connected to severe traffic congestionjams, lack of employment opportunities and educational infrastructure and overburdened public transit systemscrowded public transportation. In addition, constructing high-rise structuresbuilding tall buildings has an adverse impact on societythe society in case of major natural disasters, such as earthquakes, whichmajor natural disaster , such as earthquakes , which not only makes it impossible for citizens to get to athe safe area as quickly as possible but also increases the chance of structural collapses and casualties .
To sum up, despite the benefits high-rise buildings provide for the country in general, safety measures should notshouldn't be overlooked in order to avoid profound problems. Policymakers should collaborate and discuss safe alternatives they could provide for their citizens in order to mitigate housing issues.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay presents a clear position acknowledging both the advantages and drawbacks of building tall apartment blocks to solve urban housing shortages. The strongest aspect is the logical progression and clear paragraphing, while the main limitation is that some arguments around infrastructural pressure could be more fully developed. To reach a higher standard, strengthen topic development by directly explaining why alternative solutions might complement high-rise construction.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The candidate addresses the prompt directly and maintains a clear position throughout, though some supporting points are developed in a somewhat generalized manner.
Elaborate more fully on specific alternative housing solutions to justify why tall buildings are only a partial solution.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is arranged logically into paragraphs, though the single-sentence paragraph in the body breaks the overall flow slightly.
Integrate isolated transition sentences into full body paragraphs to improve cohesion and structural continuity.
Lexical Resource
A good range of sophisticated vocabulary and topic-specific terminology is used with clear control of meaning.
Focus on precise prepositional usage and natural collocation phrasing in complex academic contexts.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex sentence structures is produced with a high level of accuracy and good overall control.
Eliminate minor punctuation errors, such as unnecessary spaces before commas, to polish grammatical presentation.