The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
This response is estimated at Band 7.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
In today's fast-paced world, urban areas are becoming extremely overcrowded due to the migration from the countryside to large cities. Some people state that increasingexpanding the number of tall buildings is a viablesubstantial solution to the global problem of a lack of housing,lack of housing, with which I partially agree.
To begin with, it is evident that a lack of housing leads to profound economic and social issues in many urban areas, namely a significant rise in the price of apartments, which might result in the long-term economic downfalllong-term economic downfall of a country. The notion that constructing a large number of tall buildings solves housing issues is partially true, as it allows governments to provide homes without expanding the urban footprint. This will definitely alleviate some pressing housing challengesmajor and pressing issues of housing but might cause more severe and far-reaching issues in the long run.profound problems in the long run.
While high-rise construction may seem like a straightforward way for municipal authorities to address housing shortages, its significant drawbacks must not be overlooked. Such an approach will definitely result in the exacerbationresult in exacerbation of overpopulation, which is directly connected to severe traffic congestionjams, lack of employment opportunities, educational infrastructure and overcrowded public transit networkscrowded public transportation. In addition, constructing high-rise towersbuilding tall buildings has an adverse impact on societyon the society in case of a major natural disastercase of major natural disaster, such as earthquakes, which not only makemakes it impossible for citizens to get to safetythe safe area as quickly as possible but also increases the chance of structural collapses and casualties.
To sum up, despite the advantages high-density apartments offer to citiesbenefits high-rise buildings provide for the country in general, safety measures should notshouldn't be overlooked in order to avoid profound problems. Policymakers should collaborate and discuss safe alternatives they could provide for their citizens in order to mitigate housing issues.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay presents a clear and well-structured response that effectively balances the advantages and disadvantages of high-rise apartment construction. The strongest feature is the sophisticated control of complex grammatical structures and natural academic vocabulary. However, the response could be improved by directly addressing whether tall buildings are truly the best solution compared to potential alternatives. The highest-priority improvement is to make the main arguments more focused on housing suitability rather than general overpopulation issues.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
You clearly state your position and present relevant main ideas regarding space efficiency and safety drawbacks.
Directly compare tall apartment blocks with alternative housing solutions to fully address whether this is the best method.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphs are logically organized with clear main ideas and appropriate linking words throughout the text.
Use a wider variety of cohesive devices beyond standard transition phrases to link ideas more smoothly within paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A strong range of topic-specific vocabulary is used accurately to express precise ideas about urban development.
Ensure word combinations and prepositional phrases are natural and precise in all contexts.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good variety of complex sentence structures is produced with high accuracy and minimal grammatical errors.
Maintain precision in complex sentence structures by checking parallel noun phrases and preposition usage.