In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays. What is the value of long school holidays? What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays?
This response is estimated at Band 7.0. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
In recent times, summer holidays have become essential in young people's educationyoungsters' educational process. In various countries, primary and secondary schools close for a few months during the summer. Understanding the effects of both long-term and short-term holidays is vital for creating proper educational curricula in schools.
A significant number of schools provide their students with prolonged educational schedules, from the early morning till the late afternoon. Youngsters at such a young age are not developed enough to face severe academic pressure; as a result, such; as a result such tight schedules seriously impact their mental health and in some cases diminish long term motivation. Long school holidays offer youngsters an opportunity to take their mindsmind off educational challenges, to relax and pursuefollow their personal interests. After an exhausting school year, young people find academic tasks more challenging and need significantly more time to regain the mental stability essential for achievement. For example, children with dyslexia face more challenges during the school year; as a result, they; as a result they need more time to recover both physically and mentally in order to be able to catch up with other students.
On the other hand, shorter school holidays have their own advantages. They encourage children to relax without losing motivation, as prolonged holidays might lead to severe boredom and loss of the need for educational advancement. Youngsters who spend less timespend a smaller amount of time on relaxation and dedicate more time to the academic process are better prepared for educational pressure and able to face challenges without the feeling of exhaustionoverexhaustion and demotivation.
To sum up, both long-term and short-term holidays offer a significant number of advantages. While long holidays provide mental stability forin youngsters, short-term holidays broaden students' educational horizons.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay addresses both prompt questions effectively by outlining the benefits of long summer breaks and the arguments for shorter holidays. Ideas are logically organized into coherent paragraphs with sophisticated vocabulary and a strong range of grammatical structures. To improve, the candidate should elaborate on the specific benefits of shorter holidays beyond general academic preparedness.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the prompt are addressed with clear supporting arguments and relevant examples.
Provide more concrete evidence or specific details when explaining the advantages of shorter school holidays.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is logical and ideas progress clearly throughout the essay with effective linking words.
Use a wider variety of cohesive devices to connect sentences within paragraphs more naturally.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic-specific vocabulary is used accurately and flexibly to express ideas.
Focus on precise prepositional usage in idiomatic phrases to refine lexical control further.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex sentence structures is used with generally good grammatical control.
Punctuate compound and complex sentences carefully to prevent minor run-on structures.