In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays. What is the value of long school holidays? What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays?
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Sample Response
In recent times, summer time holidays have become essential in youngsters' educational process. In various countries, primary and secondary schools close for a few months during the summer. Understanding the effects of both long-term and short-term holidays isare vital for creating proper educational curriculacurriculums in schools.
A significant numberamount of schools subject their students tooffer their students with prolonged educational schedules, from the early morning till the late afternoons. Youngsters at such a young age are not developed enough to face severe academic pressure; as a result such tight schedules seriouslyseriosuly impact their mental health and in some cases diminishdiminishes long term motivation. Long school holidays offer youngsters an opportunity to take their mind offof educational challenges, to relax and follow their personal interests. After an exhausting school year, young people find it more challenging and need significantly more time to regain mental stabilitygain the mental stability, which is essential for academic achievement. For example, childrenjuveniles with dyslexia face more challenges during the school year, as a result they need more time to recover both physicallyphisically and mentally in order to be able to catch up with other students.
On the other hand, shorter school holidays have their own advantages. They encourageshorter school holidays have their own advantages. It encourages children to relax without losing motivation, as prolonged holidays might lead to severesever boredom and loss of the need for educational advancement. Youngsters who spend a smaller amountspend smaller amount of time on relaxation and dedicate more time to the academic processto academic process are better prepared for educational pressure and able to face challenges without the feeling of overexhaustion and demotivation.
To sum up, both long-term and short-term holidays offer a significant number ofoffer significant amount of advantages. While long holidays provide mental stability in youngsters, short-term holidays broaden students'short-term holidays broadens student' educational horizons.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay directly addresses both prompt questions with relevant main points and clear development. Paragraph structure and logical progression are well maintained throughout the text. To elevate the writing further, focus on refining subject-verb agreement and correcting minor spelling and preposition errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the prompt are covered with well-explained points regarding mental recovery and maintaining academic focus.
Ensure all supporting examples directly illustrate the main argument being made in the paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organized logically across distinct paragraphs with effective cohesive devices.
Vary transitional phrases to create smoother transitions between supporting ideas within paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic-specific vocabulary is used effectively, though occasional spelling mistakes occur.
Proofread carefully to eliminate minor spelling errors like 'seriosuly' and 'phisically'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is produced with generally good control, despite a few minor grammatical slips.
Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and correct preposition usage in complex sentences.