In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays. What is the value of long school holidays? What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays?
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Sample Response
In recent times, summersummer time holidays have become essential in youngsters' educational process. In various countries, primary and secondary schools close for a few months during the summer. Understanding the effects of both long-term and short-term holidays is vital for creating proper educational curriculacurriculums in schools.
A significant number of schools provideoffer their students with prolonged educational schedules, from the early morning till the late afternoonafternoons. Youngsters at such a young age are not developed enough to face severe academic pressure; as a result,pressure; as a result such tight schedules seriously impact their mental health and in some cases diminish long term motivation. Long school holidays offer youngsters an opportunity to take their mind off educational challenges, to relax and follow their personal interests. After an exhausting school year, young people find it more challenging and need significantly more time to regain mental stabilitygain the mental stability, which is essential for academic achievement. For example, childrenjuveniles with dyslexia face more challenges during the school year; as a result,year, as a result they need more time to recover both physically and mentally in order to be able to catch up with other students.
On the other hand, shorter school holidays have their own advantages. They encourage children to relax without losing motivation, as prolonged holidays might lead to severe boredom and loss of the need for educational advancement. Youngsters who spend a smaller amount of time on relaxation and dedicate more time to the academic process are better prepared for educational pressure and able to face challenges without the feeling of overexhaustion and demotivation.
To sum up, both long-term and short-term holidays offer a significant number of advantages. While long holidays provide mental stability in youngsters, short-term holidays broadenbroadens students' educational horizons.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay effectively addresses both questions of the prompt by highlighting the benefits of long summer breaks alongside the arguments for shorter holidays. Ideas are logically organized into focused paragraphs, though transitions between main points could be refined. To improve overall performance, focus on incorporating more specific real-world examples and polishing advanced grammatical accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the prompt are clearly addressed with relevant arguments and supporting explanations.
Develop supporting examples further to add depth to the main claims made in each body paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is organized logically into distinct body paragraphs, making the progression of ideas easy to follow.
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to connect sentences smoothly within paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A good variety of topic-appropriate vocabulary is used throughout the essay with effective precision.
Avoid awkward word choices, such as using 'juveniles' in a purely academic context, to maintain natural tone.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but minor grammatical errors occur consistently.
Focus on correct preposition usage and sentence punctuation, such as avoiding run-on sentences joined with semicolons.