In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays. What is the value of long school holidays? What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays?
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Sample Response
In recent times, summer holidays have become essential in children's educationyoungsters' educational process. In various countries, primary and secondary schools close for a few months during the summer. Understanding the effects of both long-term and short-term holidays is vital for planning the school calendarcreating proper educational curricula in schools.
A significant number of schools provide their students with demanding daily timetablesprolonged educational schedules, from the early morning till the late afternoon . Children at this stageYoungsters at such a young age are not developed enough to face severe academic pressure; as a result, such tight schedules seriously impact their mental health and in some cases diminish long term motivation. Long school holidays offer youngsters an opportunity to take a break fromtake their mind off educational challenges, to relax and follow their personal interests. After an exhausting school year, pupils often feel overwhelmedyoung people find academic tasks more challenging and need significantly more time to regain the mental stability essential for achievement. For example, children with dyslexia face more challenges during the school year; as a result, they need more time to recover both physically and mentally in order to be able to catch up with other students.
On the other hand, shorter school holidays have their own advantages. They encourage children to relax without losing motivation, as prolonged holidays might lead to severe boredom and a loss of learning momentumloss of the need for educational advancement. Youngsters who take shorter breaksspend a smaller amount of time on relaxation and dedicate more time to the academic routineprocess are better prepared for educational pressure and able to face challenges without the feeling of exhaustionoverexhaustion and demotivation.
To sum up, both long-term and short-term holidays offer a significant number of advantages. While long holidays provide mental stability forin youngsters, shorter holidays maintainshort-term holidays broaden students' educational horizons.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay presents a well-structured argument that directly addresses both prompts regarding the length of school holidays. The writing demonstrates good paragraphing and logical progression, supported by appropriate vocabulary and varied sentence structures. To enhance the overall quality, the writer should focus on deepening the development of key ideas and correcting minor grammatical inaccuracies.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both prompt questions are clearly answered with relevant main points regarding rest and academic momentum.
Provide more specific details or examples to more fully elaborate on the arguments for shorter holidays.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized into dedicated paragraphs with clear central themes and smooth transitions.
Vary cohesive devices slightly more to avoid overusing standard linking phrases like 'as a result'.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic-specific vocabulary is used accurately to convey nuanced ideas.
Focus on precise word choices to avoid occasional awkward phrasing like 'loss of the need for educational advancement'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response features a variety of complex structures with generally good control over grammar and punctuation.
Proofread for minor grammatical details, such as preposition usage and avoiding unnecessary spaces before punctuation.