Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Correction

Do you think that modern technology, such as the internet and computers will ever replace the book or the written word as the main source of information?

Sample Response

From many years, people have been preserving information in written form whether it was written in leather with the help of quill or on paper. But with the modernization and innovation, people are more engaged in getting information from internet and computer. Therefore, with the access of internet and technology, there is always a treat of replacing the book or the written words. I also believe that use of technology will someday replace the written words.

Firstly, human beings can adapt to changes. In ancient time people used to write on walls and create murals for information then they gradually adopted with writing on leather and then on paper. Nowadays, nobody writes on leathers and walls for daily purpose. Like this, if everyone has access to the internet and computer then the trend of writing information on books and paper will also slowly vanish.

Secondly, people are more concerned about saving the environment and using paper means cutting trees. Therefore, for preserving environment people are using less paper and printed materials and more relies on soft copies such as word document and computer software which gives them opportunities to correct and re-correct their works without using papers. Besides saving papers, technologies are also cost effective.

Thirdly, individuals, organisations and companies are preparing reports in the computer and emails are used instead of paper mail. So the use of papers and written words have drastically decreased in last few decades. Similarly, people have also access to tablets, kindles, handy computer and laptop due to which magazine, novel, books and newspapers are now uploaded in electronic form.

In short, if we see the trends then the use of books has dramatically decreased and if it continues, one day the modern technology will certainly replace the book or the written words.

IELTS Writing Correction

  • 1. Time expression Original: From many years Suggested revision: For many years Why it matters: For many years is the correct phrase for duration up to now.
  • 2. Wrong word Original: there is always a treat Suggested revision: there is always a threat Why it matters: Threat means a possible danger; treat has a different meaning.
  • 3. Preposition error Original: adopted with writing Suggested revision: adapted to writing Why it matters: People adapt to a new practice; adopted with is not correct here.
  • 4. Verb agreement Original: more relies on soft copies Suggested revision: rely more on soft copies Why it matters: The plural subject people requires rely, and the adverb more should modify the verb phrase.
  • 5. Word order Original: have also access Suggested revision: also have access Why it matters: Also normally comes before the main verb have in this structure.
  • 6. Articles needed Original: from internet and computer Suggested revision: from the internet and computers Why it matters: Use the article with internet and plural computers when speaking generally.
  • 7. Collocation Original: with the access of internet Suggested revision: with access to the internet Why it matters: Access to is the correct collocation.
  • 8. Article needed Original: use of technology Suggested revision: the use of technology Why it matters: The noun phrase needs the before use in this context.
  • 9. Plural time phrase Original: In ancient time Suggested revision: In ancient times Why it matters: The fixed expression is in ancient times.
  • 10. Plural noun Original: for daily purpose Suggested revision: for daily purposes Why it matters: Use the plural form in this general expression.
  • 11. Article needed Original: preserving environment Suggested revision: preserving the environment Why it matters: Environment normally takes the article in this general meaning.
  • 12. Count wording Original: using less paper Suggested revision: using fewer paper products Why it matters: Less paper can work, but fewer paper products is more precise with printed materials.

Suggested Rewrites

  • From many years For many years
  • there is always a treat there is always a threat
  • adopted with writing adapted to writing
  • more relies on soft copies rely more on soft copies
  • have also access also have access
  • from internet and computer from the internet and computers
Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.

TR

Task Response

6.0
Feedback

The essay presents a clear position that technology will replace books and written words, and it gives several relevant reasons: adaptation, environment, cost, and digital publication. Some points are generalized and the essay does not seriously consider limits or counterarguments.

Next step

Add a brief concession about contexts where printed books may remain valuable, then explain why digital sources will still dominate.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0
Feedback

The response is logically organized with numbered body paragraphs and a short conclusion. Cohesion is generally clear, though the repeated listing pattern makes the development mechanical and some paragraph transitions are basic.

Next step

Use topic sentences that show the argument’s progression rather than relying mainly on Firstly, Secondly, and Thirdly.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.0
Feedback

The vocabulary is relevant and sufficiently varied for technology, publishing, and the environment. Inaccurate word choices such as treat for threat and leathers for leather reduce precision.

Next step

Check key topic nouns and collocations carefully, especially threat, access to the internet, digital documents, electronic form, and printed materials.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

5.5
Feedback

The essay uses a range of sentence types, but errors with prepositions, articles, plural nouns, and agreement occur throughout. These errors rarely block meaning but keep the control below a higher band.

Next step

Edit each paragraph for preposition patterns such as access to, rely on, and adapt to, and for agreement between subjects and verbs.