Do you think that modern technology, such as the internet and computers will ever replace the book or the written word as the main source of information?
Sample Response
Technology has a great impact on our lives. Advancement in technology makes our lives easier than ever before. Internet; the most powerful source of information, is an extreme example for the advancement in technology. It helps us in many ways and in different fields. Moreover, our lives are completely dependent on it now.
Advancement in technology resulted in inventing computers smaller in size and bigger in their storage capacity. Computers now can do a lot of tasks that were not possible 20 years back due to continuous development in their technology. Among these tasks that related to books and writing, computers can store a lot of books in a small file instead of keeping them on shelves. Furthermore, one can reach the needed information easily through simple computer's find function rather than keep searching for a large collection of books for several hours.
I tend to see that it is the age of technology and we should gain its benefits four our sake. I believe that the internet has already replaced written books and newspapers as sources of information. Many people prefer to read electronic newspapers rather than buying them as well as they prefer internet search engines like Google and Yahoo! to obtain their information more than any other written source. In addition, many schools now are using laptops, iPads, tablets in their educational regimens. Students are encouraged to send their homework electronically to their teachers to be assessed rather than doing by classical method. Besides of that, computers' software provides spelling check and grammatical structures correction options that will aid people to write in different languages in an accurate way.
Finally, in my opinion, countries should try to introduce computers more in their people's life due to its significant positive effects.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Wrong punctuation Original: Internet; Suggested revision: The internet, Why it matters: Use a comma after the introductory noun phrase; a semicolon cannot connect this fragment to the rest of the sentence.
- 2. Unnatural collocation Original: extreme example for Suggested revision: clear example of Why it matters: Use example of rather than example for in this context.
- 3. Repetitive phrasing Original: Advancement in technology Suggested revision: Technological development Why it matters: Vary repeated wording to make the essay sound less mechanical.
- 4. Verb pattern Original: resulted in inventing Suggested revision: has resulted in the invention of Why it matters: Resulted in should be followed by a noun phrase or a gerund phrase that is grammatically complete.
- 5. Missing verb Original: Among these tasks that related Suggested revision: Among these tasks that are related Why it matters: The relative clause needs the verb are.
- 6. Article and possessive Original: through simple computer's find function Suggested revision: through a simple computer find function Why it matters: Add an article and avoid the awkward possessive form.
- 7. Parallel form Original: rather than keep searching Suggested revision: rather than keeping searching Why it matters: After rather than, match the gerund form used earlier in the sentence.
- 8. Spelling error Original: four our sake Suggested revision: for our sake Why it matters: Four is the number; for is the preposition needed here.
- 9. Overstated claim Original: has already replaced written books Suggested revision: has already replaced many printed sources Why it matters: The claim is too absolute; qualifying it makes the position more defensible.
- 10. Missing object Original: doing by classical method Suggested revision: doing it by the traditional method Why it matters: The phrase needs an object and a natural adjective.
- 11. Incorrect linker Original: Besides of that Suggested revision: Besides that Why it matters: Besides does not take of in this linking phrase.
- 12. Awkward noun phrase Original: grammatical structures correction options Suggested revision: grammar-correction options Why it matters: The shorter compound noun is clearer and more natural.
Suggested Rewrites
- Internet; The internet,
- extreme example for clear example of
- Advancement in technology Technological development
- resulted in inventing has resulted in the invention of
- Among these tasks that related Among these tasks that are related
- through simple computer's find function through a simple computer find function
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response gives a clear view that technology has already replaced many written sources and provides relevant reasons about storage, search, news, and education. Development is adequate, but the final recommendation about countries introducing computers is broader than the question and the essay does not fully explore whether books or the written word will ever remain important.
Add one focused paragraph explaining the limits of replacement, such as why legal records, literature, or printed books may still matter, before giving a final position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is logical and progression is generally clear, but ideas repeat the phrase advancement in technology and some linking is mechanical or inaccurate. The conclusion is very short and does not summarise the main argument.
Use topic sentences that name one clear reason per paragraph, then finish with a two-sentence conclusion that restates the position and main reasons.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient for the topic and includes words such as storage capacity, electronic newspapers, and search engines. However, collocation and word-choice errors are frequent, including extreme example for, classical method, and people’s life.
Replace awkward collocations with natural academic phrases, for example source of information, traditional method, and people’s lives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is mostly clear and there is some sentence variety, but article use, prepositions, possessives, and verb forms are regularly inaccurate. Errors are noticeable but usually do not block communication.
Revise each sentence for articles, plural nouns, and verb patterns after phrases such as resulted in, rather than, and prefer to.