All university undergraduate courses should include a period of time spent studying abroad or doing a work placement. Do you think the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages?
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Sample Response
Some people suppose that all university students should go abroad to study or to do a work placement for a duration in their undergraduate studies; in my view,in my view, conversely, the advantages of this policyadvantages of this manner are outweighed by the disadvantages.
Studying or interning overseas hashave a few advantages for students and universities. Such programmes provide students with opportunities to communicate in other countries, which allows them to broaden their horizons and gain insights into different cultures and work environments. When interacting with diverse groups of peers from around the worldfrom the world, exchange students can practise their social skills, and gain an understanding of the educational environments of various countries. Additionally, a variety of universities havehas more chances to communicate with each other, and it is easierand it’s easier to get to know the counterpart's theory of education.They may also establish links with foreign institutions, which could improve their international reputation and teaching approaches.
On the other hand, this policy also creates significant difficulties. Firstly, the funding is worth considering carefully. If the accommodation, travel, and extra coursecourses fees are borne by the individuals, many students who come from low-income families may be unable to afford them, which means they will give up the valuable chance due to exorbitant expenses, whereas it makes the policy unfair rather than beneficial. However, if the university bearsif university bears them, it is also a huge costit’s a huge cost as well. Meanwhile, some are not suitedsome aren’t suited to an extended period away. Students majoring in engineering or medicine, for instance, their practical training is closely linked to the core university curriculumuniversal courses, which means an untimely internship will interrupt studies, delay graduationcause delay graduation and create unnecessary administrative problems. In addition, if a placement is poorly organised, it may involve routine work rather than genuine training. Students may feel uneasy and live with depressionlive in depress constantly instead of free and happy.
Ultimately, the disadvantages of this educational arrangementdisadvantages of this educational arrangement would outweigh the advantages from my perspective. I do not believeI don’t think this is a good way to help students' future developmentstudents future development.
Why this response received Band 6.5
文章全面回答了题目要求,明确表达了弊大于利的立场,并从学生和院校等多个角度对优缺点进行了充分的扩展论证。不过,文中存在多处语法结构错误以及词性误用,在段落过渡和连接词的使用上也偶有不不够精准的情况。建议重点提高复杂句型的准确度,并积累表达的精准度,以进一步提升整体文章质量。
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
任务回应
文章清晰表达了自己的立场,对出国学习或实习的利弊进行了较为详细且合理的论证。
深入展开具体例证,进一步强化缺点比优点更显著的逻辑论证。
连贯与衔接
文章分段清晰,整体逻辑推进顺畅,但部分衔接词和关联词的使用稍显生硬。
注意段落内部句际衔接的精准度,避免使用如 conversely 等不够自然的过渡词。
词汇资源
使用了较丰富的话题词汇,但个别词汇搭配和词性拼写存在错误。
加强对固定搭配和词性变化的掌握,如将 live in depress 修正为正确的词性搭配。
语法多样性与准确性
能够运用多种句子结构,但存在主谓一致、动词形式及悬挂主语等语法错误。
加强对复杂句结构的语法检查,确保主谓一致并修正如 cause delay graduation 等动词短语结构。