All university undergraduate courses should include a period of time spent studying abroad or doing a work placement. Do you think the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
Whether university students should study or undertake internships overseas is a controversial issue nowadays. This essay delves into the pros and cons of mandatory overseas study or work placementsdelves into the pros and cons of international internships, offering a detailed analysis of theirits positive and negative sides, and concludes that its drawbacks outweigh its benefitssurpass its drawbacks. There are mainly two disadvantages of forcing every college student to go abroadaboard. Firstly, overseas study can constitute a severe financial burden for some students. High tuition fees and living costs abroad drain their family savings, thereby placing heavy pressure on household financesheavy economic pressure on household finances. For instance, undergraduates from low-income backgroundslow income backgrounds may struggle to afford international internship programsprogrammes. Consequently, studying overseas is not a realistic option for every young learner. Secondly, overseas experience is not a necessity for students of all disciplines. Course content in some majors focuses on local regulations and domestic industry conditions, which renders international exposure largely irrelevant to their career development. A typical case is law students, whose future work is closely tied to national legal systems. It follows that overseas internships should not be treated as a universal requirement for university-level learnersuniversity level learners. However, there is also an advantage of studying abroad. Overseas study can broaden students’ international horizons. It exposes young learners to diverse cultural values, global business practices and cutting-edge industry ideascutting edge industry ideas, and encourages them to view challenges from an international perspective. For example, business students studying abroad may cooperate with peers from different backgrounds and gain fresh insights into cross-border tradecross border trade. Accordingly, overseas learning delivers unique advantages that home-based educationhome based education can hardly provide. Nevertheless, these positive results are not common for all overseas students. Many young people only socialise predominantly with peers from their home countrymake friends with people from their own country and rarely engage in local community activitiestake little part in local activities, which prevents them from fully immersing themselves in foreign culturesstops them from learning about foreign cultures. Even business students may finish their foreign courses without working with international classmates. As a result, studying abroad does not always broaden their world view, because these advantages depend on how actively students communicate with local people. On balance, while overseas learning can help some students broaden their horizons, its financial burden and uncertain educational value are more concerning. These disadvantages clearly outweigh its limited benefits, so studying abroad should not be made a compulsory component of all undergraduate degreesshould not be widely recommended for all undergraduates.
Why this response received Band 7.5
文章切题精准,论点清晰且递进自然,能够合理运用丰富的句式结构和地道的词汇表达进行深入论证。美中不足的是首段出现了词汇套用上的误用,且对题目中“本土实习(work placement)”这一备选项的覆盖略显不足。建议未来写作时注意仔细核对首尾段表达,并全面回应题目中的所有要素。
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
任务回应
文章立场明确且贯穿始终,对出国留学与海外实习的利弊进行了较为深入的论证与对比。
注意审清题干细节,适当涵盖“国内工作实习”这一备选方案,使对强制性要求的讨论更加全面。
连贯与衔接
段落组织非常严密,分论点与例证衔接自然,整体逻辑推进顺畅。
继续保持现有的清晰段落结构,可适当丰富段落内部的让步与转折衔接词,提升行文多样性。
词汇资源
词汇量丰富且使用得当,成功运用了较多与教育和职业发展相关的学术及地道表达。
检查并避免开头段中如 "drawbacks surpass its drawbacks" 这类不仔细导致的词汇重复与误用错误。
语法多样性与准确性
语法结构丰富多样,熟练运用了定语从句、状语从句等复杂句型,且保持了极高准确率。
继续维持高水平的句子结构控制力,可尝试在论证中加入更多带有条件或假设语气的高级句式。
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IELTS Writing Task 2
All university undergraduate courses should include a period of time spent studying abroad or doing a work placement. Do you think the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.