All university undergraduate courses should include a period of time spent studying abroad or doing a work placement. Do you think the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages?
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Sample Response
In an era when if students should include a period of time spent studying abroad or doing a work placement before they graduate has sparked an intense debate. While some argue that this has more drawbacks,this more drawbacks. I believe its merits far outweigh its demerits.
On the one hand, the students before they graduategraguate from the university, they have to finish an essay which takesspends a lot of time. For the academically weaker studentspoor study ability students, it is a challenge for them to use their spare time to dospare time do other things.
On the other hand, studying abroad or doing a work placement are valuable opportunitiesgood chances to help students know about the direction for their futuredirection about future before graduating. For instance, studying abroad can provide an immersive English-speaking environment.studying abroad which can provide a full English environment. Their language learning skills will improve greatly. Besides, when they stay in a completely different place that they have to live independentlylive for themselves, which can improve their living skills. Also they will better realize what they want to domore reliaze that what they want to do in the future due to the various difficultiesdifficults they meet in the foreignforigen country. What's more, when the students start to make money by themselves, it is necessary for them to knowfor them know how difficult it is. At the same time, it is beneficial for themit is benefits to them to improve the living and problem solving skills.
In addition, I firmly convinced that the advantages of this would outweigh thethis disadvantages. If students think they do not have enough time, there are many ways to solve this problem, such as decreasingdeceasing screen timethe time using on the screen. Keeping learning is not a negative aspect. It is a good chance to broaden their horizonshorizon and the skills they learned also help them in the future.
Why this response received Band 5.0
The essay presents a clear opinion on whether studying abroad or work placements offer more benefits, though the supporting points lack depth and fully developed reasoning. Cohesion across paragraphs is somewhat disjointed, and persistent grammatical and vocabulary errors frequently interrupt the flow of reading. To improve, focus on expanding each supporting idea with logical explanations and thoroughly proofreading for sentence structure accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response takes a clear overall stance, but the supporting arguments remain limited and partially developed.
Elaborate on each supporting point with detailed explanations and concrete examples to fully justify your stance.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraph structure is present, but internal cohesion is weak and the logical progression between sentences is occasionally unclear.
Use linking phrases correctly to build smooth transitions between your ideas and avoid repetitive sentence starters.
Lexical Resource
A basic range of vocabulary is attempted, but frequent word choice errors, spelling mistakes, and awkward phrasing reduce clarity.
Focus on using natural collocations and double-check spelling for common academic terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Multiple grammatical errors and incomplete sentence structures recur throughout the text, frequently hindering readability.
Practice constructing clear clause structures and ensuring correct subject-verb agreement across complex sentences.