In many countries nowadays, young single people no longer stay with their parents until they are married, but leave to study or work somewhere else. Do you think this trend has more advantages or disadvantages?
Sample Response
It is a fact that a lot of young people leave their parents' house when they complete their graduation from high schools. They prefer to live independently as they continue their higher education or decide to work. This trend has its' own positive and negative side, but I personally believe that it has more benefits than the drawback. On the one hand, many people believe that leaving parents house during the young age has a disadvantage. It is undeniable that many young teenagers are not yet ready to live independently by themselves. Many of these people are not yet matured in making decisions and in differentiating between right or wrong for them. As a consequence, many of the young people become addicted to narcotics and alcohol or became pregnant at a very young age. On the other hand, despite the disadvantage, living independently at the young age has some advantages for them. Firstly, they will learn how to manage their own life and appreciate the time. They learn how to set some priorities in their life, as they have to make schedules for studying, groceries shopping, doing the laundry or cleaning their apartment by themselves. Secondly, for those who leave their parents for work, they would reduce the burden of their parents. Parents could stop the financial supports for their child and could be allocated for the younger children or for their retirement plan. In conclusion, it is true that many young age people choose to live independently these days after they have graduated from high school. Although the trend has a drawback, but I personally believe that it has more advantages for both the child and the parents as well.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. General noun Original: from high schools Suggested revision: from high school Why it matters: High school is usually singular when describing a stage of education.
- 2. Possessive error Original: its' own Suggested revision: its own Why it matters: Its is already possessive; no apostrophe is needed.
- 3. Plural form Original: positive and negative side Suggested revision: positive and negative sides Why it matters: There are two sides, so use the plural.
- 4. Plural comparison Original: more benefits than the drawback Suggested revision: more benefits than drawbacks Why it matters: Use plural drawbacks when comparing categories.
- 5. Possessive noun Original: leaving parents house Suggested revision: leaving their parents' house Why it matters: The phrase needs a possessive form and a clear referent.
- 6. Natural phrase Original: during the young age Suggested revision: at a young age Why it matters: This is the natural collocation.
- 7. Adjective form Original: not yet matured Suggested revision: not yet mature Why it matters: Mature is the adjective needed here.
- 8. Fixed pair Original: between right or wrong Suggested revision: between right and wrong Why it matters: The standard phrase is between X and Y.
- 9. Overgeneralised claim Original: became pregnant at a very young age Suggested revision: may make serious personal mistakes Why it matters: This claim needs support or more careful wording.
- 10. Article choice Original: at the young age Suggested revision: at a young age Why it matters: Use a for this general expression.
- 11. Wrong collocation Original: appreciate the time Suggested revision: manage their time Why it matters: Manage time matches the intended idea.
- 12. Word form Original: groceries shopping Suggested revision: grocery shopping Why it matters: Grocery functions as an adjective here.
Suggested Rewrites
- from high schools from high school
- its' own its own
- positive and negative side positive and negative sides
- more benefits than the drawback more benefits than drawbacks
- leaving parents house leaving their parents' house
- during the young age at a young age
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay answers the advantages-versus-disadvantages question and gives a clear preference, with relevant examples, though some claims are generalised.
Make the disadvantage paragraph less extreme and add one more concrete example of independence improving study or work outcomes.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument is logically sequenced, but it is presented as one long paragraph and relies on basic linking phrases.
Use paragraph breaks and clearer topic sentences for disadvantage, first advantage, second advantage, and conclusion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate and sometimes topic-specific, but word choice and collocation errors reduce precision.
Use natural phrases such as leave the family home, become mature, financial support, living expenses, and personal responsibility.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentence control is generally understandable, but errors with articles, plural nouns, and verb forms appear regularly.
Check noun phrases after of, avoid unnecessary articles, and keep verb tense consistent.