The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.
Sample Response
The diagrams illustrate how cement is produced and also an example of cement utilisation produced to make concrete to use in a form of construction.
To begin with, cement is produced by combining the raw materials limestone and clayraw materials like limestone, clay, which are crushed into powder in a crusherprocessed in a tool called crusher. These materialsThose all items are mixed together to create a uniform powderperfect blend. The blend, thenfurthermore, goes intogoes into to a rotating heater. As it is in the rotating heaterrotating heater tube, heat is applied at one end of the heaterintroduced from the end of the tube before the blend is actually fed into a grinderdropped onto grinder. Then, after all the processing stagessystemic process, the mixture turns into cementsome cement which is then packed into bags.
Meanwhile, to create concrete, the main components of construction systems are gravel, cement, water, sand and a concrete mixer to blend all the materials. Gravel or small stone is the largestmajor and biggest component needed and accounts for 50% of the mixtureaccounts for 50% among all materials. There are, however, some other materials like the sand which is mainly used and comes in the second place and is accounted halved from gravel, followed by cement and water. The cement accounts for 15% of the concrete mixturecompared to among all materials used to construct a new real construction. All the materials areAll the material is mixed together by a concrete mixer.
Overall, the steps of making cement are more complicated and require advanced machinery while concrete production requires mixing the required componentsmixing required components in the right proportion in a simpler machine. While heat is required to produce cement, no heating during concrete productionheat penetration during the combination period of making concrete is required.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its complete, logically ordered account of the cement stages and its clear distinction between the two production methods. Its main limitation is imprecise language, while the concrete description also omits the water percentage and adds vague claims about advanced machinery. Prioritise exact process vocabulary and report every labelled proportion directly, especially water at 10%, while simplifying awkward grammatical constructions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main cement stages, concrete ingredients, and overall contrast are accurately presented, with only the water percentage omitted and a few unsupported qualitative descriptions added.
Report water as 10% and keep the overview strictly tied to visible differences in stages, heating, and mixing.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from cement production to concrete production and ends with a clear overview, with effective paragraphing despite occasional awkward connectors.
Place the overview immediately after the introduction and use simple sequencing language consistently through the process description.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonable range of process vocabulary, but repeated awkward collocations such as systemic process, accounted halved, and real construction reduce precision.
Use exact combinations such as crushed into powder, passed through a rotating heater, ground into cement, and mixed in fixed proportions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied sentence forms are used and meaning remains clear, but errors with articles, prepositions, agreement, and passive constructions occur throughout.
Practise concise passive process sentences and check article and preposition choices around equipment, materials, and percentages.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.