The bar graph below shows the numbers of male and female research students studying six computer science subjects at a US university in 2011.
Sample Response
The given graph illustrates the number of research students enrolled in six different computer science subjects (linguistics, psychology, natural sciences, engineering, programming and mathematics) at a university in the US in the year 2011, by genderbased on their gender.
Overall, the total number of female students studying computer science is fewer than male students. Out of six subjects, only in linguistics, the female students exceed the number of males. In natural sciences, the number of male and female students is equal, while male students’ remaining four subjects are higher than female students. The number of female students studying engineering, programming and mathematics is much lowervery less which is the similar to the number of male students studying linguisticssame as male studying linguistics.
In mathematicsFirstly, the figure for male mathematics researchers, at 200,the male research students with 200 of them studying mathematics wasare more than four times that of their female counterparts with less than 50. Similarly, the number of female students studyingattending engineering and programming at about 90 and 75 respectivelywith less than 100 each is lowerless than the number of male students studying the same subjects, exactly 150 each. Also, there are fewer female students than male studentsless female than male studying psychology.
However, the number of male and female students studying natural sciences is equal, at 200 students eachequal to 200 research students. Interestingly, the female students outnumbered the male students in linguisticsdominated the linguistics with just over 100 students compared with fewer than 100 maleswith more than 100 students and males with less than 100.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response identifies the principal gender patterns and supports them with mostly accurate figures, while its paragraph sequence is easy to follow. Its main limitation is recurring grammatical and collocational awkwardness, and a few comparisons are expressed too loosely to be fully precise. The highest-priority improvement is to form comparisons accurately and use standard quantity language when describing male and female student numbers.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview correctly identifies the main gender pattern, and the details accurately cover all six subjects with several useful figures.
Replace loose claims such as several groups being the same with exact or clearly qualified comparisons from the bars.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically arranged into an overview and supporting detail paragraphs, and progression is consistently clear.
Group the details by the clearest comparative patterns and avoid using however where the following point is not a direct contrast.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of topic vocabulary, but expressions such as very less and dominated the linguistics are inaccurate or unnatural.
Use precise quantity and comparison phrases such as far fewer, exceeded, and enrolled in linguistics.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex comparisons are attempted and meaning is generally clear, but agreement, countability, and comparative structures contain recurring errors.
Control comparative forms by matching plural nouns and using fewer with students, especially in sentences containing multiple groups and figures.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The bar graph below shows the numbers of male and female research students studying six computer science subjects at a US university in 2011.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.