The line graph shows estimated sales of gold in Dubai for 12 months in 2002 in millions of Dirhams.
Sample Response
The given line graph compares gold salesthe gold sales in Dubai from January 2002 to December 2002. The sales figuressale price is given in millions of dirhamsmillion of Dirham and it is evident from the diagram that gold sales in Dubai werewas highest in March while it was lowest in July and SeptemberJuly & September.
According to the given illustration, the gold sale in Dubai was 200 million Dirham in January in the given year and it increased to around 230 million Dirham in the next month. The highest sale of the gold was in March amounting to 350 millionamounting 350 million. From April to July, the sales amount continued to decreasekept on decreasing and reached the lowest levelreached to the lowest level in July with just above 100 million Dirham. In August the sale was just above 200 million and after that sales amount of Dubai gold showed some fluctuations. In September the sales amount again reached the lowest pointreached at the lowest point while at the end of the year, December 20022012, the sale was just below 200 million Dirham.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response’s clearest strength is that it identifies the major pattern, including the March peak, the July and September lows, and the modest recovery towards December. Its main limitation is reduced accuracy and precision through referring to prices rather than sales, giving the wrong final year, and listing movements mechanically; the highest-priority improvement is to present a precise overview and organise the monthly figures into meaningful phases.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report identifies the peak in March, the low points in July and September, and the broad fall-and-recovery pattern. It loses accuracy through the “sale price” wording, the incorrect final year, and limited comparison of the middle months.
State that the graph shows sales, not prices, and give a tighter overview of the sharp March peak, July/September troughs, and modest final recovery.
Coherence and Cohesion
The two-paragraph structure is clear and the monthly sequence is mostly coherent, though the second paragraph becomes a list of movements.
Combine related movements into phases rather than reporting almost every month separately.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary range is sufficient but repetitive around “sale/sales amount”, and several collocations are unnatural.
Vary language with “rose”, “peaked”, “fell steadily”, “rebounded”, “levelled off”, and “stood at”.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is understandable but contains agreement, preposition, article, and number errors.
Check singular/plural forms after “sales”, use “in millions of dirhams”, and avoid unnecessary articles before uncountable nouns.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The line graph shows estimated sales of gold in Dubai for 12 months in 2002 in millions of Dirhams.
Your response
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