The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English home.
Sample Response
The presented graph illustrates the electricity demandrequisition in England during two different seasons, winter and summer. Meanwhile, the pie chart demonstrates how electricity is used in an average home and in what proportionshow the electricity is utilised daily and to what quantity.
In general, both in winter and summer, the electricity demand risesrises up from around 9:00 am to about 23:0023:00 pm and the electricity is mainly usedelectricity in mainly spent for heating roomsroom and water.
Looking at the detailsdetail, the electricity demand in summer ranges betweenis reckoned between 10,000 – 20,000 units. It falls to around 14,000 by 9 amgoes to around 12,000 before 9 am and slightly increases to around 20,000 at 14:0014 pm and fluctuates over the rest of the dayrelatively fluctuates until the rest of the day. However, in winter, the electricity requisition sets about 35,000 units at 00 am and gradually spikes before it actually rises at 9 am and keeps the level swells until around 45,000 units at 23 pm.
Meanwhile, regarding household electricity usedue to utilisation and quantity, room and water heating accountsheating room and water require the largest share, 52.5%,the vast majority, 52%, of electricity useusing. This high proportion is related to the high electricity demand for these two appliances during winter. Whereas other kitchen and electronic devices, vacuum cleaners, food mixers and electronic tools amass lower proportion, 48%, than heating rooms and water.
Why this response received Band 5.0
Clear paragraphing and a recognizable overview make the response easy to follow at a broad level, and it identifies heating rooms and water as the largest use. However, the report omits most pie-chart categories and misstates important line-graph movements and timings, while frequent awkward vocabulary and grammar reduce precision. Prioritize an accurate overview comparing winter with summer, then select a few correctly timed peaks, lows, and household-use figures in clear sentence structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response addresses both visuals and identifies the largest household use, but its overview is partly inaccurate, several key trends and category figures are omitted, and some timings and values are misstated.
State that winter demand remains much higher throughout, then compare the main peaks and lows and include the three smaller household-use categories accurately.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure separates the introduction, overview, line graph and pie chart, but progression within the detail paragraphs is sometimes unclear and linking is occasionally faulty.
Organize each detail paragraph around clear comparisons and use complete linking structures rather than isolated forms such as 'Whereas'.
Lexical Resource
There is some range in trend vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate choices and collocations such as 'electricity requisition' and 'amass lower proportion' make descriptions unnatural and sometimes obscure.
Use precise, conventional graph language such as 'demand', 'fell', 'peaked' and 'accounted for', checking that each verb matches the movement shown.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts complex structures, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, clause construction and sentence boundaries reduce clarity, especially in the winter and final descriptions.
Build accurate comparison sentences with one main clause each, then check subject-verb agreement, articles and verb forms before adding subordinate clauses.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English home.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.