The graph below shows four countries of residence of overseas students in Australia.
Sample Response
The line graph reveals data on the changes in the number of internationalInternational students from four different countries studyingliving in Australia from 1982 to 2000. What stands out from the graph is that the number of students living in Australia increased among students from each countryfor each country and Hong Kong was as the majority of students in 2000.
More specifically, in the first year, there were no foreign students from three countries except for Malaysiaexcepting Malaysia. However, there was a gradual rise in the number of students fromin both Hong Kong and Malaysia with both groups having similar numberswhich had a similar number at about 10,000 studentsat 10 in 1000s students in 1994. Moreover, there was almost a treble rise for the number of students from Hong Kong within less than 30 in 1000s lived in Australia.
Turning to IndonesiaOn the other hand, the number of Indonesian studentsthe number of Indonesian remained close to zeroremained stable at zero during the first three years and this figure reached a peakit reached a peak at about 26,000 studentsat almost 20 in 1000s students in 1998. Meanwhile, there was a gradual increase in the number of students from Singaporethere was slight growth for students from Singapore throughout the years by reaching double rise within 20 in 1000s students in 2000.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response has a recognizable overview and organizes the four countries into understandable comparisons, with some accurate observations such as Malaysia being the only non-zero starting point and Hong Kong and Malaysia being near 10,000 in 1994. However, it misidentifies the leading country in 2000 and substantially understates Indonesia’s peak, while several other trends are vague or inaccurate. The priority is to identify each line correctly and report its key peak, fall, and endpoint with accurate units.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Some relevant starting and 1994 comparisons are given, but the overview names the wrong leading country and major values and trends are inaccurately reported.
Trace each labelled line separately and record its start, peak, significant fall, and 2000 value accurately in thousands.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction, overview, and two detail paragraphs provide recognizable organization, though comparisons and transitions do not always form a clear progression.
Group Indonesia with the other strongly rising series and organize details consistently from starting point to peak and endpoint.
Lexical Resource
There is some relevant graph vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate or awkward choices such as “was as the majority,” “treble rise,” and “number of Indonesian” impede precision.
Use precise phrases such as “the largest group,” “almost tripled,” “Indonesian students,” and “reached approximately 25,000.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in articles, agreement, word forms, prepositions, and clause construction sometimes make the intended comparisons difficult to follow.
Build each data sentence around a clear subject, trend verb, value, and time phrase, then check singular-plural agreement.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows four countries of residence of overseas students in Australia.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.