The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.
Sample Response
The diagram illustrates the process by which a rain-shadow desert is formedcreated on the inland side of a mountain range.
Overall, moist winds from the sea are pushed upward along the windward side of the mountainsrise over mountains and lose their moisture as rain on the windward side. The air then becomes dry and descendstravels down the opposite slope, producing desert conditions thousands of kilometres inlandfar inland.
Initially, winds approach the coast from the sea. When they meet the mountains, they are pushed upwardforced upwards along the windward side. As this moist air rises, it cools, causing clouds to form above the windward side of the mountainabove the mountain. Rain subsequently falls from these clouds, near the mountain summitmainly near the upper parts of the windward slope.
After crossing the mountain peak, the air contains much less moisture. It continues over the leeward side as dry air and descends towards the inland area. Finally, dry winds reach land that may be thousands of kilometres from the coast. Since the mountains have prevented most of the moisture from the seasea moisture from reaching this region, very little rain falls there. Consequently, a rain-shadow desert develops on the leeward side, in contrast to the wetter windwardcoastal side of the mountains.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is highly effective because it combines a concise overview with complete, accurately sequenced coverage of the diagram's stages and a clear coastal-inland contrast. There is no significant content gap, although a few expressions could be made more directly faithful to the visual labels. The best improvement would be to maintain this detail while tightening minor paraphrases and avoiding any unnecessary interpretation of where rainfall is concentrated.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All major stages are accurately selected, and the overview clearly explains how moisture loss creates the rain-shadow desert.
Describe the rainfall location without adding emphasis such as mainly near the upper slope unless that emphasis is unambiguously shown.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses smoothly from the coastal approach to inland desert formation, with effective paragraphing and cohesive reference.
Make the shift from the overview to the detailed sequence slightly less formulaic while preserving the strong chronological structure.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is broad, precise and natural, with effective use of terms such as windward, leeward, descends and prevented.
Aim for still greater economy by removing occasional explanatory wording that repeats an already clear causal relationship.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex clauses and varied sentence forms are used flexibly and almost entirely without error.
Sustain this accuracy while experimenting with more concise clause combinations in the final stage description.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.
Your response
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