The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)
Sample Response
The given column graph illustrateselucidates the unpaid work done by both married men and women withhaving different numbers of children. Overall, the chart shows thatA cursory glance is adequate to mention that women in all three categoriesmost women, with or without children, have to do unpaid household workthe unpaid household works more unpaid work than menmore than men and more children mean more work for women.
As is seen in the chartgiven illustration, married females who do not have any childrenchild do around 30 hours of unpaid work weekly, while menwhile, male infrom the same category spend about 19 hoursdo only 18 hours of such work. Whilst, men who have one or two children spend an equal amount of time for household works as do the males without children, this is in contrast nearly fifty hours for women. In the case of women, who nurture more than three offspring, spend the highest hours on unpaid works -58 hours per week. Men, on the other hand,Men on the other hand, surprisingly do slightly less household workdo fewer household works as the number of children increaseswith the increase of their child number.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response identifies the central gender pattern and supports it with mostly accurate figures, making the main comparison easy to follow. Its chief limitation is that it does not suggest any reasons for the pattern, despite the task explicitly requesting them, while several awkward grammatical structures weaken precision; the highest-priority improvement is to add a brief, plausible explanation linked to childcare and domestic responsibilities and then proofread sentence structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and mostly accurate comparisons cover the principal patterns, but the requested reasons are entirely omitted.
Add one or two plausible reasons for the gender gap and changing workloads, explicitly linking them to the charted patterns.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses from an overview to detailed comparisons, although the single dense detail paragraph and some faulty linking reduce fluency.
Group the child categories into a more controlled comparison and use complete linking structures instead of fragments such as the sentence beginning with 'Whilst'.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the task, but several choices, including 'household works' and 'child number', are unnatural or imprecise.
Prefer precise, natural chart language such as 'unpaid household work', 'number of children', and 'hours spent'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex forms communicates the data, but agreement, article, punctuation, and sentence-structure errors recur.
Check every complex comparison for a complete main clause and correct singular-plural forms, especially 'men', 'children', and uncountable 'work'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.