The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999.
Sample Response
The given graph compares the unemployment rates in Japan and the USA from 1993 to 1999. As is observed from the given graph, initially in 1993, the USA had a higher unemployment rateUSA has a higher unemployment rate than the rate in Japanthan it was in Japan but by the end of the periodin few years, the US rate declinedthe USA managed to control this rate and became lower than Japan's rategot in a better position than that of Japan. According to the line graphgraphs, the unemployment rate in the USA was about 7% in March 1993was over 7% in 1993 and over time this rate declined overall despite fluctuationskept on decreasing. Finally, in 1999, the unemployment rate in the USA decreased to just over 4%decreased to just over 4.5% which represents an overall declinewhich shows the improvement the USA had been able to achieve. By contrastOn the contrary, in 1993, Japan had about 2% unemployment rate but the rate rose overallthat kept on increasing over the yearsyear and by March 1999 it had risen to about 4.7%after 6 years it grew to just over 4.5%. Japan's unemployment rateJapanese job market showed a completely opposite trend tothan the US unemployment ratethe USA job market. In summary, the USA ended with a lower unemployment rate than Japanmanaged to control the unemployment rate better than Japan did for the given period though initially, Japan had a lower unemployment rate than the USAless unemployment problem than the USA.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response's strongest feature is its accurate overview of the opposing trends, showing US unemployment falling while Japan's rose until the two rates converged near the end. The main limitation is limited detail: the fluctuations and late crossover are omitted, and the final US figure is slightly overstated. Prioritise a grouped comparison that identifies the start, convergence and March 1999 endpoints accurately while briefly noting both lines' intermediate variation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main opposing trends and approximate start and end values are reported clearly, but the late crossover and fluctuations are omitted and the final US value is inaccurate.
State that Japan overtook the US in late 1998 and finished near 4.7%, while the US ended around 4.2%, after fluctuations in both series.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report follows a logical sequence from overview to each country's trend and a summary, but placing everything in one paragraph and repeating conclusions weakens organisation.
Separate the introduction and overview from a detail paragraph that compares the two lines across the period, and remove the repetitive final summary.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for trends and comparison, though several phrases are imprecise or repetitive rather than fully natural.
Use concise graph language such as 'fell steadily', 'rose overall', 'converged' and 'overtook', avoiding evaluative phrases about controlling unemployment.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence structures is used and meaning remains clear, but tense, article and comparative-form errors recur.
Maintain past tense for the historical period and revise forms such as 'the US had a higher rate than Japan' and 'fewer unemployment problems'.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.