You took your young child, who had severe stomach pains, to a hospital Emergency Department. You waited almost four hours before a doctor treated your child and other staff constantly ignored you. Write a letter to the Hospital Registrar. In your letter: - describe the long wait for treatment - explain how the other staff treated you - complain about the service you received
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, Two days ago I took my youngyounger daughter to your hospital due to her sudden and relentless stomach pains but was very disappointed with the service I received. When my daughter needed emergency care, she and I were continually neglected. I hope that you willI am hoping that you would take the necessary actionactions so that no other patients or their relativesno other patient and their relatives suffer and feel humiliated the way we did. To explain what happenedIn relation to the specifics of the event, my daughter started complaining about a severe stomachache atat around 2:30 pm on 24th June. After she had been in pain for a couple of hoursAfter waiting for a couple of hours her condition worsened and I rushed to the hospital. I took her to your emergency departmentI took her to the emergency department at your hospital and due to the negligence of the staff, weI had to wait more than four4 hours before a doctor saw and treated her. Though the workers were gossiping, every time I requested them to call a doctor, they told me that they were busy. The type of service I receivedservice I was offered is an completely unacceptableexample of cruelty and no parent of an ill child deserves it. I was repeatedly ignored whileI have been constantly ignored when my child was crying in pain. Such conduct by staffThis sort of staff in the emergency department of a hospital is not suitable at all. I request you to take this matter seriouslysincerely and take appropriate actiontry to take the required actions against those who are responsible. I hope to get a reply from you regarding the action you have taken. Yours faithfully, Rebecca Smith
Why this response received Band 7.5
The complaint is purposeful and convincingly developed, with specific details about the delay, staff behaviour, its effect on the child, and the action requested. Its main limitation is that some exaggerated or unnatural wording and a few tense or agreement lapses reduce precision, while the dense single paragraph impairs readability; the highest-priority improvement is to present the chronology in clear paragraphs using measured, idiomatic formal language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The letter clearly communicates the complaint, addresses every bullet point with specific details, and requests appropriate action in a generally suitable formal tone.
Use more measured language when criticising the service so that the complaint remains firm but consistently professional.
Coherence and Cohesion
The account progresses logically from the child’s condition through the delay and staff response to the requested remedy, but the body lacks paragraph divisions.
Separate the background, hospital experience, and requested action into paragraphs to make the chronology easier to follow.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and forceful, but several combinations, including ‘take this matter sincerely’ and ‘this sort of staff’, are unnatural or imprecise.
Choose idiomatic formal phrases such as ‘take this matter seriously’ and ‘such conduct by staff’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are used with generally good control, although tense consistency and agreement occasionally lapse in the account of the past event.
Maintain past tense throughout the incident narrative and check agreement in phrases referring to patients and staff.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You took your young child, who had severe stomach pains, to a hospital Emergency Department. You waited almost four hours before a doctor treated your child and other staff constantly ignored you. Write a letter to the Hospital Registrar. In your letter:
- describe the long wait for treatment
- explain how the other staff treated you
- complain about the service you received
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.