You have bought a new mobile phone and in a few days of purchase, it has stopped working. You spoke to the company representative a week ago but it has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: - introduce yourself - explain the situation - say what action you would like the company to take
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am David Fisher, writing to express my concern about a recent purchase I made from your company. Even after contacting your company a week ago, I am yet to get any solution. I am hoping that you will take the necessary action to resolve the issue.
On 12th November, I purchased a new Samsung Galaxy mobile phone from your Brownshire Road. The invoice number of the purchase is BR#0040124. While I was initially very pleased with the phone, unfortunately, it malfunctioned just a few days later. The phone now refuses to turn on, and even if it does sometimes, the touch screen remains unresponsive. This is particularly inconvenient as I rely heavily on my mobile phone for both personal and professional communication.
Following the initial malfunction, I contacted your customer service department on 20th November and spoke with a representative named Carter. I was informed that the repair process could take up to a week. Unfortunately, a week has now passed since I contacted your customer service team, and I have not received any updates on the status of the repair!
Given the significant inconvenience caused by this malfunction, I would like to request a prompt resolution. Ideally, I would appreciate it if you could issue a replacement phone of the same model or refund the full amount plus compensation for the delay in a week. Otherwise, I will contact the Consumer Rights Protection Service and lodge a formal complaint.
Thank you for your time and attention to this matter. I look forward to your prompt response and a satisfactory resolution.
Yours faithfully,
David Fisher
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: get any solution Suggested revision: receive a solution Why it matters: The verb “receive” forms a more natural formal collocation with “solution” here.
- 2. Use direct present form Original: I am hoping Suggested revision: I hope Why it matters: The simple present is more direct and natural for this formal request.
- 3. Name the purchase location Original: your Brownshire Road Suggested revision: your Brownshire Road store Why it matters: The location needs a noun such as “store” to show where the phone was bought.
- 4. Use concise noun phrase Original: The invoice number of the purchase Suggested revision: The purchase invoice number Why it matters: This wording states the invoice detail more concisely and naturally.
- 5. Keep formal punctuation Original: repair! Suggested revision: repair. Why it matters: A full stop maintains the appropriately measured tone of a formal complaint.
- 6. Sentence rewrite Original: While I was initially very pleased with the phone, unfortunately, it malfunctioned just a few days later. Suggested revision: Although I was initially very pleased with the phone, it malfunctioned just a few days later. Why it matters: Using both “while” and “unfortunately” makes the contrast unnecessarily awkward.
- 7. Sentence rewrite Original: The phone now refuses to turn on, and even if it does sometimes, the touch screen remains unresponsive. Suggested revision: The phone usually refuses to turn on, and when it does start, the touch screen remains unresponsive. Why it matters: The rewrite clearly describes the intermittent fault and fixes the awkward conditional structure.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: Ideally, I would appreciate it if you could issue a replacement phone of the same model or refund the full amount plus compensation for the delay in a week. Suggested revision: Ideally, I would appreciate a replacement phone of the same model or a full refund, together with compensation for the week-long delay. Why it matters: The revision removes the ambiguous phrase “delay in a week” and presents the requested remedies clearly.
Suggested Rewrites
- get any solution receive a solution
- I am hoping I hope
- your Brownshire Road your Brownshire Road store
- The invoice number of the purchase The purchase invoice number
- repair! repair.
- While I was initially very pleased with the phone, unfortunately, it malfunctioned just a few days later. Although I was initially very pleased with the phone, it malfunctioned just a few days later.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The letter communicates its purpose immediately, covers every requested point with specific purchase and repair details, and maintains a suitably formal register. Its main weakness is a small number of awkward expressions, especially in the requested remedy, so the highest-priority improvement is to make collocations and time references more natural and precise while retaining the strong detail and organisation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear, all three bullet points are fully covered, and the requested action is developed in an appropriately formal tone.
State the compensation request more precisely so the desired remedy sounds fully reasonable and unambiguous.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically through the purchase, malfunction, previous contact, and requested resolution, with effective paragraphing and referencing.
Streamline the opening slightly to avoid repeating the fact that the company was contacted a week earlier.
Lexical Resource
A flexible and generally precise formal vocabulary supports detailed explanation, although a few collocations such as 'get any solution' are awkward.
Use more natural service-related phrases, such as 'receive a resolution' and 'compensation for the week-long delay.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, with only occasional awkward word order or phrasing that does not impede meaning.
Refine clauses such as 'even if it does sometimes' to achieve consistently natural sentence structure.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have bought a new mobile phone and in a few days of purchase, it has stopped working. You spoke to the company representative a week ago but it has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter:
- introduce yourself
- explain the situation
- say what action you would like the company to take
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.