Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Regarding children's developmentConcerning the development of children, there are two schools of thoughttwo different schools of thought. On the one hand, some people argue that children should be encouraged to competebe taught to be competitive as preparation for later successto succeed later in life. Others believe that cooperation is essential for successcooperation is the key to success. DeleteIn this essay, both views will be discussed. Personally, I am in favour of teaching children to cooperateteaching children cooperation rather than competition.
Those who support competition amongin children argue that it is important for them to develop a strong drive to succeeddevelop a drive to succeed. They believe that children who are taught to compete will be better prepared for the demands of the real world. Moreover, competition can improvehelps to improve self-confidence and self-esteem. This can also lead to higher levels of motivation and effort in achieving goals.
On the other hand, some people argue that cooperation is more important than competition. Children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete are likely to become more useful adults because they will be able to work effectively in teams. Moreover, cooperative skills are essential in most jobs as adults need to be able to work in a team and collaborate with others. Additionally, cooperation fosters a sense of community and togetherness which is important for social development.
In my opinion, cooperation should be encouraged in children. While competition can be motivating, it can also lead to negative behaviours such as cheating and feelings of inferiority. In contrast, cooperation encourages positive behaviours such as sharing, empathy and respect for others. It also allows children to learn from each other and build positive relationships which can last a lifetime.
In conclusion, while there are merits to both approaches, I believe that cooperation should be the priority in the education and development of children. This will ultimately lead to more productive and fulfilling adult lives for our children.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay fully discusses the value of competition and cooperation while maintaining a clear, well-supported preference for cooperation. Its paragraphing, progression, vocabulary, and sentence control are consistently strong, though some ideas rely on general assertions and the repeated competition-versus-cooperation wording slightly limits sophistication. Add one concrete example and vary a few recurring terms to make an already persuasive argument more specific and polished.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both perspectives are developed through relevant benefits and drawbacks, and the preference for cooperation is clear, consistent, and well supported.
Add a concise real-world example showing how cooperative learning prepares children for adult teamwork.
Coherence and Cohesion
Focused paragraphs, clear topic sentences, and well-controlled contrast create an easy and logical progression from both views to the writer's judgement.
Reduce minor repetition between the cooperation paragraph and the personal-opinion paragraph to make the progression even tighter.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is broad, accurate, and appropriate for discussing child development, motivation, teamwork, and social behaviour, with only limited repetition of the central terms.
Vary repeated references to ‘competition’ and ‘cooperation’ with precise alternatives where the meaning remains clear.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used flexibly and with consistently high accuracy throughout the essay.
Maintain this control while using occasional more concise sentence patterns to sharpen emphasis.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.