Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?
Sample Response
It is true that happiness is a prerequisite to people’s quality of life, Although an actual definitionalthough an actual definition of happiness seems to be difficult to describe, there are various factors which are considered crucialwhich considered being crucial in acquiring happiness.
It is quite difficultlaborious to find out an actual definition for the term HAPPINESS. The reason for this is that happiness means different thingsthing to different people. Most people may have at least one hobby or an activitya treat which could help them to uplift their spirits instantly. While for some people, it might be their job or a career which brings them a sense of fulfilment. At the same time, for others, possessions are central to a comfortable lifepersonal belongings are paramount of a serene life. For example, a web designerTo take an example of a web designer, Richard Jackson, who believes that the key element for a pleasurable life is a close relationship. In my case, happiness is when I am taking my time out of a hectic routine to spend quality timespend a quality time along with my family.
There do seem to be some common needs that we all share with regard toin regards to experiencing or achieving pleasure. Firstly, investing in personal relationships can go a long waygive a broad (long) way to boostboost up people’s level of happiness. For instance, spending even a fraction of time from a whole day with your children while doing some sharedshare activities could help to build up strong mutual understanding and inner satisfactionan immense mutual understanding as well as an inner satisfaction in them, which is a basis for lasting happinessa subtle precursor to bring in levelled happiness. Secondly, a a respected careerprestigious line of work could help to raise people’s contentment by allowing them to have an adequate wageample amount of wages. As a result, they can entertain themselves with all the basic necessities of life without worrying about any financial distress.
To sum up, due to thea nature of happiness it is not that easy to describe it in one specific sentence. We can merely acknowledge several factors which are mandatory to some extent in seeking happiness.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay responds to both questions and is organised into clear paragraphs, with relevant discussion of personal relationships, work, and financial security. Its main weakness is that ideas are sometimes obscured by overloaded sentences, vague development, and unnecessarily elaborate or inaccurate wording. The highest priority is to select fewer factors, explain each one directly with a well-linked example, and express the analysis in shorter, more precise sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: why happiness is hard to define and which factors help achieve it. Ideas are relevant, but some examples and factors are expressed vaguely or with inflated wording.
Explain fewer factors more clearly, such as relationships, meaningful work, health, and financial security.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is clear paragraphing and a generally logical progression. Some sentences are overloaded, and links between examples and claims need tightening.
Use shorter sentences and make each example directly support the paragraph's main idea.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary range is fairly broad, but word choice is often unnatural or over-complicated, including laborious, paramount of a serene life, and levelled happiness.
Prefer precise common academic vocabulary over decorative expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted, but errors in clauses, articles, agreement, and prepositions occur frequently.
Check every complex sentence for a complete main clause and accurate relative clause.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.