Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?
Sample Response
Happiness is an essential emotional stateindispensable emotional factor that we usually pursue in our everyday life. In terms of definingdelineating happiness, it can be difficultit would be intractable, as the meaning varies from person to person. However, apparently, there are several contributing factors toof happiness, by which people may experience deep satisfactionincur exalted satisfactions and psychological well-beingpsychological forbearances.
First of all, happiness may tend to have a definition that varies according to different people's opinionsvaries from several opinions of scholars. Though, I believe it is a simplesimplest need of human being, which could be incurred from any living or material substance. Some people seek pleasuresearch out pleasure from their wealth, material possessions and social hierarchies while others believe that happiness is a treasure, which can be found only through companionshipcould be only possessed from companionship. For example, a supportive and caring family provides someone an utmost happiness and peace that could not be achieved by the lonely one. Additionally, other people may conquer this positive emotion by owning a mansion or driving an expensive car or having high social status.
Apparently, there are several points that play an essential role to achieve a happy and fulfilling lifegrab a happy and delightful life. Firstly, I assume that money could be the most eminent resource that may bring the smile to anyone’s face. Secondly, some happiness could not be traded-off with high salaries such as, having loving families or raisingraise a child to be a good citizen or holding a top position at school or colleges.
To conclude, happiness is a foremost essential part of our lives and we delineate this emotion by linking it with our surrounding environment and various stimulating factors.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response addresses both parts of the question and offers a relevant range of possible sources of happiness, especially family relationships, wealth, and social position. Its main limitation is that ideas about definition and achievement are repetitive and sometimes obscured by unnatural wording and grammar; the highest-priority improvement is to separate the two questions clearly, develop one focused idea per paragraph, and express each point in simpler, more natural language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay answers both questions and gives relevant factors such as personal meaning, family, wealth, and social status. However, the definition question is somewhat repetitive and the factors are not always clearly explained.
Separate the two questions more clearly: first explain why happiness is subjective, then evaluate the most important factors in achieving it.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is clear and the essay has a recognizable progression. Cohesion is weakened by repeated abstract phrases and topic sentences that do not always preview the paragraph's main point.
Use simpler topic sentences and make each paragraph focus on one main idea.
Lexical Resource
The writer attempts ambitious vocabulary, but many choices are unnatural or overformal. This sometimes makes simple ideas harder to understand.
Prioritise precise natural words over rare words, especially for abstract concepts such as happiness, satisfaction, and fulfilment.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent grammar errors appear in articles, relative clauses, word forms, and parallel structures. Meaning is generally clear but accuracy is below the ambition of the vocabulary.
Use shorter clauses and check noun forms after articles and prepositions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.