Most countries want to improve the standard of living through economic development, however, others think the social value is lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
Over the last few decades, many countries have been actively involvedmany countries are aggressively involved in improving economic conditionsimproving the economic condition and raising the standard of livinguplifting the living standard of the people. On the other handWhereas, on the other hand, there are also people who believe that in the race to improvein the race of improving the living standard, people are neglecting the social values. I also believe that people nowadays are more concerned about achieving material successpossessing materialistic success which has weakened respect for social values such as family ties and community responsibilityhas overshadowed the need for social values.
Why this response received Band 4.5
The response identifies a relevant tension between economic progress and social values, and its topic vocabulary is generally understandable. However, it is only an introductory fragment, so it provides no developed advantages, disadvantages, examples, or clear weighing of the two sides; expand it into a complete four-paragraph essay with supported arguments on both sides and a conclusion that directly answers the question.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response is far below the expected Task 2 length and only gives an introduction. It states a relevant concern about economic development and social values, but it does not develop advantages, disadvantages, examples, or a clear answer to whether advantages outweigh disadvantages.
Write a full essay of at least 250 words with one paragraph on economic benefits, one paragraph on social-value costs, and a conclusion that clearly weighs them.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a basic opening and a thesis-like sentence, but no developed essay structure. The fragment Whereas, on the other hand disrupts cohesion, and there are no body paragraphs or conclusion.
Use four clear paragraphs: introduction, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is relevant and includes economic condition, living standard, social values, and materialistic success. Range is limited because the response is very short, and some collocations are unnatural.
Develop topic vocabulary with employment, infrastructure, healthcare, consumerism, community bonds, inequality, and cultural traditions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The grammar is understandable but limited by the short response. There are errors in tense, sentence fragments, articles, and word form.
Avoid sentence fragments and check tense consistency when discussing current trends.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Most countries want to improve the standard of living through economic development, however, others think the social value is lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.