In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?
Sample Response
The concept of careold homes is very prevalent in modern societies. However, this trend has grown dramaticallytrend has dramatically increased in some developing and developed countries over the last few years. Senior citizens prefer to live in those homes because they offer better social interaction and care facilitiesbecause of better interaction and care facilities. Some people argue that the state is responsiblestate is responsible for looking after itstheir people and should spend money on their care. Others claim that expenses should be bear by family in response to hard work and effort for providing health, education and other amenities of life to their family members. I believe that it is a shared duty of families and the governmentmutual duty of family and government to support them financially.
Family plays a substantial role in providing comfort to their elders, therefore effort of senior citizens should be acknowledged as they have spent all their for the upbringing and taking care of children health, education and other necessities of life. When their parents reach old ageDuring the old age of their parent, it is a primary obligation of the family members not to deprive them of their basicbasics financial needs.
On the other hand, senior citizens have served throughout their entire livessenior citizens had served their entire life while working in both the public and private sectorswhile serving in both public and private sector for the betterment of the country. They have deposited chucks of money in government funds in term of taxes throughout their services, this makes them eligible for the help of the government in the time of need.
To sum up, I would like to say that the government should take necessary measuresgovernment should take necessary measures to provide comfort and supportfor making comfort and ease in older people's livessenior people lives. Their health-related issues should be addressed urgentlyshould be urgently solved while without charging themnot taking even a single penny from them. Moreover, the family is also responsible for their elders' needsresponsible of their elders need and must make every effortput their maximum efforts to make them happy in their later yearsduring their last days.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a clear shared-responsibility position and organises relevant reasons for both families and the state. Its main limitation is that the supporting ideas remain fairly general, while frequent problems with sentence boundaries, agreement, articles, possessives, and word choice reduce precision. The highest priority is to develop each reason with a concrete explanation or example while editing sentences for grammatical control and natural collocation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers the question with a clear shared-responsibility position and relevant reasons for both parties, although development is limited.
Extend each main reason with a specific explanation or example showing how the proposed financial responsibility would work.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraph sequence is logical and the overall argument is easy to follow, but some long sentence connections and referencing are imprecise.
Use full stops or correctly controlled complex sentences instead of joining independent ideas with commas.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for the topic and includes some less common terms, but frequent collocational and word-form errors reduce accuracy.
Replace unnatural combinations such as references to old homes or making comfort with precise, idiomatic expressions about residential care and support.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of sentence forms is attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, possessives, plurals, and sentence boundaries weaken control.
Proofread each sentence for a clear subject-verb structure and check articles, possessive forms, and agreement systematically.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.