Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
More and more artists are have existed throughout historynaturally born since the dawn of time. As a result, it has been the subject of discussion on whether the state or a non-government institution should support them financially. This essay will discuss both views before giving my opinion.These points of view will be discussed in this order. It is believed by some that the governmentcountry's administration should finance the creative artists. For instance, under President Ferdinand E. Marcos regime, many skilfully created artworksall of our skilfully created arts by the Filipino artists received the support they neededwere provided by all the helps they needed. Like Fernando Amorsolo, one of the most famous painters in the Philippines was funded by the late President Marcos and even his first exhibition was heldand even his first exhibition held in the National Museum of the country. Thus, he became known to visitorshe was known by visitors who came and saw his creations internationally, and this led him to exhibit his paintings in different countries. He made our country known around the world and he is indeed a source of Filipino pridea Filipino pride. On the other hand, many argue that NGOs (Non-government Organisations) should be the onesone financing them. An idea that may support this is that the government budgets are already stretchedgovernment has a lot of funding already and they cannot afford to finance these creators of arts, so it is better to ask for helpask for a help to a private institution. For example, the Pro-mil Milk Company has funded the concert of Sarah Geronimo in Araneta Coliseum. She is the most popular singer in the Philippines because she sings magnificently and can touch our deepest emotions. In fact, this private company can make a lot of profit in her concert. In conclusion, for reasons related to the Philippine pride and private institutions making a profitprivate institution making of profit when funding creative artistsfinancing arts creators has supporters and opponentsis supported and refuted by many. However, after analysing these two points of view, it is clear that the Philippine government should finance them. Thus, the argument that the state should financially support creative artists is the stronger viewcan be supported and expected to be realised.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response addresses both funding perspectives and reaches a clear opinion, using concrete examples to keep the discussion relevant and understandable. Its main limitation is that the argument depends too heavily on narrowly local examples while the alternative-funding case remains underdeveloped, and the single-block structure compounds this weakness; the priority is to build one general reason for each side in separate paragraphs, supported by cleaner, more standard phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The answer discusses both government and alternative funding and gives a clear opinion supporting government funding. However, the argument is narrow, relying almost entirely on Philippine examples, and the opposing view is not fully developed beyond one commercial example.
Add a general reason for each side, such as public cultural value for government support and independence from political influence for private funding.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has an identifiable sequence, but it appears as one block and uses formulaic signposting. Some examples are long and reduce the clarity of the overall progression.
Use separate paragraphs for the introduction, government funding, alternative funding, and opinion conclusion.
Lexical Resource
There is relevant vocabulary about artists, exhibitions, private institutions, and financial support. Lexical errors and awkward phrases are frequent, such as arts creators, making of profit, and all the helps they needed.
Use standard phrases such as creative artists, financial assistance, private sponsorship, cultural heritage, and commercial profit.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are attempted, but agreement, articles, prepositions, and passive forms are often inaccurate. Meaning is usually clear, though several sentences sound unnatural.
Simplify long example sentences and check article use before singular countable nouns such as exhibition, company, and institution.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.