Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizen themselves?
Sample Response
Although there is a wide disparity in the resources available to the people living in different countries, still, I would argue that the government should be accountable for fulfilling its citizens day to day needs.
It is imperative that the government in each country is held responsible for providing its citizen basic needs. Firstly, if help is always at hand, some governments may not put in all their efforts to meet both hands, while, few others are going an extra mile to cater for their own as well as the other nations demand. Poor nations can borrow money from world bank to set up, for instance, short scale industries to create employment for its people and boost the economy in long run. Various other steps can always be taken by venturing in trade and commerce for well- being of the nation.
Secondly, it may seem unfair to the citizens of the nation providing support that the taxes paid by them for the development of their own nation are being used towards others. Furthermore, it is also a herculean task to categorise all the nations into rich and poor, and then to select a criterion to decide the priority among nations seeking help. Despite all that, we all should be ready to offer help to a nation in times of crisis that arise due to unforeseen circumstances, for instance, floods, earthquake, hurricanes.
In conclusion, the common needs of a man should be looked after by the ruling government he chose for himself while in times of calamities, we all should stand united for each other.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundant contrast Original: countries, still, I would argue Suggested revision: countries, I would argue Why it matters: 'Although' already signals concession, so 'still' is redundant.
- 2. Use plural governments Original: the government should be accountable Suggested revision: governments should be accountable Why it matters: The essay refers to the governments of multiple poorer nations.
- 3. Add required preposition Original: providing its citizen basic needs Suggested revision: providing its citizens with basic needs Why it matters: The verb pattern is 'provide someone with something', and the general noun should be plural.
- 4. Correct the idiom Original: meet both hands Suggested revision: make ends meet Why it matters: 'Make ends meet' is the fixed expression for covering necessary expenses.
- 5. Fix comma and determiner Original: while, few others are Suggested revision: while a few others are Why it matters: No comma follows 'while', and 'a few' means some governments.
- 6. Use fixed expression Original: an Suggested revision: the Why it matters: The fixed idiom uses the definite article 'the'.
- 7. Clarify plural needs Original: cater for their own as well as the other nations demand Suggested revision: meet their own needs as well as other nations' demands Why it matters: The revision supplies the missing noun and corrects the plural possessive.
- 8. Capitalize the institution Original: world bank Suggested revision: the World Bank Why it matters: The institution's proper name requires capitals and the definite article.
- 9. Match plural nations Original: its Suggested revision: their Why it matters: The plural subject 'Poor nations' requires the plural possessive 'their'.
- 10. Add definite article Original: in long run Suggested revision: in the long run Why it matters: The fixed expression requires the definite article.
- 11. Use natural verb phrase Original: venturing Suggested revision: engaging Why it matters: Countries engage in trade rather than venture in it.
- 12. Use concise active clause Original: the taxes paid by them Suggested revision: the taxes they pay Why it matters: The active relative clause is more concise and direct.
Suggested Rewrites
- countries, still, I would argue countries, I would argue
- the government should be accountable governments should be accountable
- providing its citizen basic needs providing its citizens with basic needs
- meet both hands make ends meet
- while, few others are while a few others are
- an the
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear, nuanced position that poorer governments should meet routine needs while international support remains appropriate during crises, and its ideas follow a logical sequence. Its main limitation is recurrent inaccurate phrasing and grammatical control, which makes some supporting points difficult to interpret; the priority is to express the dependency and fairness arguments in simpler, more precise sentences with concrete support.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response gives a clear qualified position and develops relevant arguments about government responsibility, aid dependency, taxpayer fairness, and emergency assistance.
Support the dependency and fairness claims with a specific example showing how domestic policy or targeted aid would work in practice.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are arranged in clear paragraphs and progress logically through two reasons to a qualified conclusion, although some linking is mechanical or awkward.
Use more direct topic sentences and make the shift from objections to emergency aid explicit within the third paragraph.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary shows adequate range for international aid and government responsibility, but several inaccurate or nonstandard phrases obscure intended meanings.
Use precise expressions such as meet basic needs, small-scale industries, the World Bank, economic development, and disaster relief.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence forms is used, but article, agreement, possessive, plural, and punctuation errors recur throughout.
Check noun phrases for possessives and number agreement, then divide heavily punctuated sentences into clearer independent clauses.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizen themselves?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.