The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
It is argued that constructing tall apartments is the best possible solution to alleviate housing shortagesmitigate the housing problems in large urban areas. I completely agree with this idea because it can save a lot of space and help cities attract touristshelp the city to attract tourists. First of all, cities throughout the world have a shortage of landshortage of lands because of a huge migrantmigrated population and it can be solved by tall buildings because these types of apartments can accommodate more people than a villa or any other small house. As a result, the urban areas can ensure more residences forto its people which can efficiently solve the housing issues in many overcrowded cities. For instance, almost every house in Hong KongHongkong city is actually a tall apartment because the city is overpopulated and the buildings need to provide accommodation for as many people as possible. This is why I believe that for saving space require more skyscrapers.
Furthermore, building skyscrapers makes a city more visually appealingdecorated which appeals to many touristsappeals many tourists from different parts of the world to pay a visit. At the same time, the economy of these areas can growrise because of the tourists. Many mega cities have already constructed tall buildings for visitors. For instance, Dubai has many tall buildings which attracts tourists to spendattract the tourists for spending their vacation, boosting the economy of the city. Therefore, tall buildings not only solve housing problems but also attractnot only solve the housing problems but attract visitors from different parts of the globe.
In conclusion, the more tall apartments a city constructs, the more space it can providethe more a city constructs tall apartments the more the city can provide more space to its people. Besides, cities can attract more tourists and improve theirits financial condition due to skyscrapers.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay presents a clear stance supporting tall apartment blocks to address urban housing shortages and offers relevant supporting arguments. However, the second main paragraph shifts focus away from housing towards tourism, which distracts from the core prompt topic. To improve, ensure all body paragraphs directly address how high-rise developments solve the housing crisis rather than secondary economic benefits.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
You state a clear position, but the focus drifts to tourism in the second body paragraph rather than fully developing the main topic of providing housing.
Ensure every body paragraph directly supports the main prompt focus, such as urban housing capacity, rather than off-topic benefits like tourism.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs with clear topic sentences and basic linking devices.
Use a wider variety of cohesive devices and refine paragraph transitions so ideas flow more naturally.
Lexical Resource
You use adequate vocabulary to address the topic, though there are occasional awkward word choices and repetitive phrasing.
Focus on precise word choice and collocations, avoiding imprecise phrases like 'makes a city more decorated'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences is used with reasonable control, despite minor grammatical and article errors.
Proofread carefully to fix small grammatical inaccuracies, particularly article usage and subject-verb agreement.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.