Some people say that time and money spent on music classes in schools are not necessary. Instead, children should be learning useful subjects such as science and computers. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion and include relevant examples.
Sample Response
Child education & their curriculum is always a matter of controversy, especially among parents. Though some people are against spendingagainst to spend a great deal of money and other resources onfor music classes in school, I hold the view that this is not a waste of time and money if the school curriculum is designedschool curriculum and syllabus are arranged wisely. One obvious reason to support my view is that this is a great opportunity to identify students' hidden talentspeople's hidden talents in music and playing musicalmusic instruments. Many students have considerable additional talenta good deal of extra talents along with academic excellence these daysacademic excellence in these days. This extra talent identification and promotion would be helpful not only for the individual but also for the whole society in various ways. Apart from that, music classes are stepping stones forstepping stone of many musicians and professional singers todaymany music maestros and professional singers in these days. For instance, renowned musician Muhammed Shafi statedstrongly mentioned in his biography that the school music classes shapedremoulded his career as a professional singer. Another justification to support my opinion is that the music classes immensely help to reduce tension and stress which occurs while the study of complex subjects. To be more precise, students feel relaxedrelaxation while attending music classes in the midst of Mathematics and Science classes. Besides, this respitethese refreshments enhance the concentration in other subjects toin a great extent. On top of that, students can achieveget academic excellence. To cite an example, recent research has shownrecent research has doubtlessly proven that music greatly enhancesthe music tremendously enhances the brain activity, especially concentrationbrain activities, especially concentrations. Some others argue that the science and computer subject allocation must be increased instead of music classes. They argue that these subjects play a leading roleare playing leading role in the contemporary world. Perhaps it may be true, but we cannot deny that this is a great opportunity to identify and promote the future singers, who also are the major part of our society. Taking everything into consideration, wise allocation of each subject, including music, in the curriculum will countlessly contribute to school children's overall development.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response gives a clear opinion and develops relevant benefits of music education through talent discovery, career opportunities, stress relief, and improved concentration. Its main limitations are the complete absence of paragraphing and frequent awkward collocations and grammatical errors, which make a generally logical argument feel crowded and less precise. The highest priority is to organise the two main benefits into separate paragraphs and revise each sentence for natural academic expression.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and supported with several relevant reasons and examples, although some claims about achievement and social benefit are broad or insufficiently substantiated.
Develop two strongest benefits in depth and explain exactly how music study complements rather than displaces science and computing.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a recognisable sequence and uses many signposts, but the entire response is one paragraph and cohesion becomes mechanical and crowded.
Create distinct introduction, talent-development, well-being, counterargument, and conclusion paragraphs with fewer announcing phrases.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate topic vocabulary and some range, but recurring inaccurate word forms and collocations reduce precision and naturalness.
Use conventional phrases such as 'school curricula', 'discover musical talent', 'relieve stress', and 'improve concentration' consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied structures, but frequent errors in articles, prepositions, agreement, plurals, and verb patterns weaken grammatical control.
Proofread every sentence for article and preposition use, then correct verb patterns such as 'oppose spending' and 'help reduce stress'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that time and money spent on music classes in schools are not necessary. Instead, children should be learning useful subjects such as science and computers. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion and include relevant examples.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.