minutes on this task: Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view.
Sample Response
Mothers and fathers bothMother and father both play a crucial role in the upbringing of children. Some people assert that women are better parents than menwomen triumph over men to make better parents. In contrastIn contrary to this, others claim that men are as good at parenting as womenmen are as good as women in parenting. This is very perplexing for anyone to choose one. In my viewAccording to me, women make better parents.
In support of my point of view, a mother is one of the first persons who forms an attachment to the child from birthgets attached to the child from the birth. A child spends most of his childhoodmost of his time, his childhood with the mother. So a child is more influenced by the mother. Secondly, a mother is the only person who takes all sorts of care of the child, such as feeding and bathinglike- feeding, bathing etc. Thus, a mother occupiesThus, mother occupies most of the child's time. This makes a strong bond between them. When a child becomes a little older and starts going to schoolstarts to go school, a mother takes care of the child's studiesthat child's study, homework, assignments and projectshomework, assignment, projects etc. In this way, a motherBy this, a mother plays a crucial role in a child's education. In addition, a child learns moral values which are essential to becoming a good personwhich are main ingredients to become good human from the mother.
In our society, usually we find that women spend most of the time at home and men are only breadwinners. In this type of situation, the person who can spend a chunk of the time for the nourishment of a child is a woman. Thus, a woman can keep an eyewomen can keep her eyes on every aspect of a child's lifeevery small activity of children. Apart from that, owing to closer relationship children's shares it's emotions and problems with the mother first. Thus, mother knows her child better than anyone.
On the flip side, to maintain the status of men, they argue that men are as good as women. In spite of spending less time with the child a man earn for his child. A father makes the child's future financially securemakes future of the child financially secure. Financial securityAs financial security is as important as shaping a child's characterbuilding child's personality.
To conclude, both women and men are equally important. But in our society women are superior to men in better parenting as they rear child very well.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear preference for mothers as primary caregivers and supports it with several relevant points about time, care, education, and emotional closeness. However, the reasoning relies heavily on broad assumptions, the treatment of fathers is limited, and frequent grammatical and collocational errors reduce fluency. The highest-priority improvement is to develop a more balanced, evidence-based comparison while correcting sentence-level accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear viewpoint is presented and supported with several relevant ideas, though some claims are generalized and the opposing perspective is thinly developed.
Support the comparison with more nuanced reasoning about parenting roles rather than relying mainly on traditional household arrangements.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a recognizable progression with appropriate paragraphing, but some linking is mechanical and several short or incomplete sentences disrupt flow.
Connect closely related claims into fuller logical sequences and reduce reliance on formulaic transitions such as thus and on the flip side.
Lexical Resource
There is enough range to discuss parenting roles and responsibilities, but awkward word choice and collocation are frequent.
Use more natural expressions for parental influence, supervision, emotional disclosure, child development, and financial provision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied structures, but frequent errors in articles, agreement, pronouns, possessives, and sentence completeness limit control.
Prioritize accurate subject-verb agreement and possessive forms, then revise fragments so every sentence contains a complete main clause.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
minutes on this task: Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.