Nowadays shopping has become a new favorite pastime for young people. What are the reasons for this? should they be encouraged to develop other hobbies?
Sample Response
It considered that the gist of this question is a big, disputable, and debatable issue in the contemporary world at the moment. There are some relevant causespostulated relevant causes for this trendthis kind of problem. Therefore, I will discussI could propound and expound on this topic to prove my sources.
One of the main reason is that secure shoping. To be more precise buying goods has becomebuying goods become simple with a tapsimple in fingertip tap further, adolescents are most concerned about passion and trend style they do not consider design, value, or usefulnessthey don’t bother about design, worthy and useable they concentrate on only buying the product
Secondly, goods sold onlinegoods in online shoping are cheaper; most teenagers are attracted by lower prices and brand valuemost of teenagers attract less cost and brand value. furthermore, to show their status in this modern world they usually update their productsto usually updated their products with buying products at less price compared to the market price
Thirdly, some teenagers spend most of their free timeThirdly,some teenagers most spent their past time due to unemployment they don’t have any work to do they are usually attracted to groupsthey usually attract to teams and waste their money and time I opine that younger people should focus more onyounger generation should do more concentration on physical and mental exercises and walk around looking for products they wantRome for product which you want this can provide information about the productthis can develop some information of the product and also helps as daily exercise
To sum up, it is obvious that the aforementioned points support my position; nevertheless,have vindicated my stand beyond any doubt.nevertheless it is challenging to describe all pertinent factors for this topic in this short essay
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response identifies several plausible reasons for young people's interest in shopping and briefly recommends exercise, giving it some relevance to both questions. Its main weakness is that the second question is barely developed, while pervasive sentence, punctuation, and word-choice problems often obscure the intended reasoning; the response is also under length. The priority is to build a clear answer to each question in accurate, complete sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Several reasons are identified and other activities are briefly recommended, but ideas are thin, unclear in places, and the second question receives minimal development.
Devote a separate developed paragraph to whether other hobbies should be encouraged, explaining why and giving a relevant example.
Coherence and Cohesion
Basic paragraphing and sequencing markers provide a visible structure, but run-on sentences, weak referencing, and mechanical links disrupt progression.
Organize each paragraph around one clear main idea and use full stops before adding carefully chosen logical connectors.
Lexical Resource
There is some attempted range, but frequent spelling, collocation, and word-choice errors make many expressions awkward or unclear.
Replace memorized or misused vocabulary with accurate everyday expressions for convenience, affordability, fashion, status, and free time.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Errors predominate in sentence formation, verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation, and they sometimes make meaning difficult to recover.
Write shorter complete sentences with one finite verb pattern each, then check subject-verb agreement and end punctuation.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays shopping has become a new favorite pastime for young people. What are the reasons for this? should they be encouraged to develop other hobbies?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.