The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children.
Sample Response
The bar chart illustrates how Australian children, aged 5 to 14between 5 and 14, spend their free time. Their leisure activities are categorised into five different pursuits (skateboarding or rollerblading, bike riding, watching TV or videos, electronic or computer games, and art and craftSkateboarding, Bike riding, Watching TV, Computer games, and Art), and compared by the participation of boys and girls. Overall, it is noticeable that watching TV or videos is by far the most popular activity among Australian childrenadolescents and rollerblading is the least common activityventure among them. According to the diagram, 100% of both boys and girlsall Australian boys and girls are fascinated to watch videos or TV programmes and this is the most typical leisure activity among them. The second most favoured activity among these youths is playing computer games and 80% of boys80% boys are engaged in this pastime compared to about 20 percentage points fewer girls20% fewer girls. In terms of riding a bike, more than 75% of boys do it in their free time while this ratio among girls is less than 60%. 'Art & craft' as an activity is more popularfavourite among Australian girls than boys. The participation of girls in arts and crafts is somewhat roughly twice the participation rate of boysdouble than that of boy's participation. Finally, skateboarding is the least common recreational activitytraditional recreation activity among Australian children. Just over 20% of girls and less than 40% of boys take part in it.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The report gives a clear overview and compares boys and girls across all five activities, with generally logical organisation and useful data language. Its main limitations are a few imprecise figures and some unnatural comparative expressions; the priority is to verify each percentage, group related male-dominated activities together, and use concise, accurate comparison structures throughout.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report clearly identifies the most and least popular activities and compares boys and girls across all five categories. Some figures are approximate and “all” overstates the TV/video category, although it is shown at 100% for both groups.
Keep the strong comparisons but use exact or clearly approximate percentages for each gender, especially for skateboarding and arts and crafts.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is well organised, with an overview followed by category comparisons. Cohesion is generally smooth, though some sentences could be grouped more efficiently.
Put the two male-dominated activities together and then contrast them with arts and craft, where girls lead.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, but some choices are unnatural for data reporting, such as “venture” and “traditional recreation activity”.
Use neutral terms like “activity”, “pastime”, “participation rate”, and “proportion”.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is generally controlled, but there are errors with articles, comparison structures, and possessives.
Check comparative phrases such as “twice as high as” and avoid possessives where a noun modifier is needed.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.