The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children.
Sample Response
The bar graph gives information about the leisure activities of Australian children aged 5 to 14 yearsbetween the age of 5 - 14 years. At first glanceAt a first glance it is noticeable that regardless of genderirrespective of sex, Australian kids all watch TV or videoslike to watch TV or videos.
To begin with, watching TV or videosTV watching is the most common leisure activity among Australian children. However, about 75% to 80% of boys participate in bike ridingprefer to do bike riding and play electronic and computer games. By contrastOn the contrary, nearly 60% of the girls participate in these activitiesprefer to do the same. On the other hand, more than 50% of Australian girlsmore than 50% Australian young girls who are 5 - 14 years old, spend their time onfor art and craft. Meanwhile, just under 40% of boys spend their time onfor it. However, 20% to 40% of the children only spend their time for skateboarding or rollerblading and this leisure activity is also more popular among boys than girlspopular among boys than the girls.
In short, boys spend more time for leisure activities than girls except in art and craft while TV watching is their favourite pastime activity.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The report selects the main participation patterns successfully, noting universal television viewing, stronger male participation in several activities, and the female lead in art and craft. Its main limitation is imprecise reporting: it describes participation as time spent, omits the exact universal figure, and uses repetitive linking and awkward expressions. Prioritise accurate percentage language and organise the details into clear groups for shared, boy-dominated and girl-dominated activities.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies the main features: TV/videos are universal, boys participate more in biking, electronic games and skateboarding, and girls lead in art and craft. Most percentages are approximate but accurate enough, though the conclusion wrongly refers to time spent.
Report participation percentages rather than time spent, and include the 100% figure for watching TV/videos.
Coherence and Cohesion
The organisation is clear, with an overview followed by comparisons by activity. Linking is sometimes repetitive, especially however and on the other hand.
Group activities by universal TV viewing, boy-dominated activities and the girl-dominated art and craft category.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate but sometimes imprecise, such as do bike riding, spend their time for and pastime activity.
Use participate in, prefer, choose, watching TV/videos, bike riding and art and craft.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The grammar is generally understandable, but article use, prepositions and comparative forms need work.
Check prepositions after spend time and compare boys and girls with more popular among boys than girls.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.