The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010.
Sample Response
The bar graph illustrates how many British citizens devoting money to charity by various age groups in the years 1990 and 2010. Overall, it is clear that majority of people donating money aged 36 to 65 for both years and people aged from 18 to 25 were the least to donate money.
In 1990First and foremost, Deletethe most striking feature is that there was a steady increase inthere was an increasing trend in the proportion of British people donating money in 1990, peakingin 1990 and peaked amongat people aged 36 to 50 (just above 40%) before gradually decliningwhich is then followed by a gradual drop. The proportion of people aged 65 and over who gave moneypeople who aged over 65 giving money to charity was about 32%accounted for about 33%.
In 2010,Turning to 2010, it is revealed that there was a marked increase across the first two age groupsa significant rise in the percentage of British people who donateddonate money (approximately 6% for those aged 18 to 25 and 24% for those aged 26 to 35for that age group of 26 to 35). The rate continued to rise across the next two age groups and reached its peakA similar trend can be observed for the next age group and hit its peak at about 39% among those aged 51 to 65about 40%for those aged 51 to 65. By contrastIn contrary, the proportion fellan opposing trend can be seen in the last age group (people aged 65 and overpeople aged over 65).
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response has a clear overview and follows each year in a logical sequence, accurately identifying the different peak age groups and the lowest group. Coverage is weakened by limited direct comparison and the misleading claim of a rise for the two youngest groups in 2010. Prioritise precise cross-year comparisons, then edit recurring grammatical and collocational errors for clearer reporting.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main patterns and peaks are identified, but comparisons between years are limited and the claimed rise for the two youngest groups contradicts their lower 2010 values.
Compare each year directly, noting that the three younger groups fell while the two oldest groups increased between 1990 and 2010.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically divided into an overview and year-based detail paragraphs, though some references such as a similar trend and an opposing trend are vague.
Use explicit comparison links that name the age group and clarify whether a percentage rises across ages or changes across years.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of trend vocabulary, but several collocations, including devoting money, people who aged, and in contrary, are inaccurate.
Prefer natural forms such as donated to charity, people aged, by contrast, and reached a peak.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted, but recurring errors in verb forms, articles, agreement, and clause construction reduce control.
Check that every clause has a finite verb and revise complex sentences to maintain consistent tense and accurate relative-clause structure.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.