The graph below shows information on employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005.
Sample Response
The bar chartcolumn graph shows employment ratesemployment rate variations in six countries, namely, Australia, Switzerland, Iceland, the UKIreland, UK, New Zealand and the USA between 1995 and 2005. As is observed, employment rates in these countries improved and there werethere have been notable increasesadvancements for women in the workforce. It is obvious that women had lower employment rates in all six countriesmost of the countries. For example, in Australia in 1995, about 55%57 percent of men had a job, but about 27%only 27 percent of women were employed. In this year, the highest employment rates for women (70%) was in Iceland where more than 80% men were working class. The another key trendsecond biggest trend in the graph is the improvement in employment between 1995 and 2005. In all countries shown, figures for both men's and women's employment ratesboth men and women employment rates improved. The biggest change was in the United Kingdom, from a 55% male employment ratefrom 55 percent of men in 1995 to 73 percent over the ten-year periodten years period. Furthermore, the increases in employment rates for women were among the largest in New Zealandwere much higher in New Zealand. The female employment ratepercentage of working women rosejumped from 25 percent to 42 percent, and in the United States from 45 percent to 61 percent over the decade. In these countries, at least a 12 percent increased both for men and women over the ten years.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response identifies the two central patterns: employment rose over the decade and female rates generally remained below male rates. It also provides several useful figures, but accuracy is uneven, most notably confusing Switzerland with Iceland for the highest female rate and misstating some changes in New Zealand. Prioritise checking country labels, series colours, and exact values before writing comparisons, then divide the report into clear paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A relevant overview and several accurate comparisons address the main trends, but important country and value errors reduce reliability.
Correct the highest female rate to about 68% in Switzerland in 2005 and verify New Zealand's figures and percentage-point changes.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response moves from overall gender differences to changes over time, but the single paragraph and some repetitive trend statements weaken organisation.
Use a separate overview and group details by gender gap and decade-long increases rather than restating the general rise.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for employment comparisons, though several imprecise or unnatural choices reduce clarity and formality.
Use 'employment rate', 'percentage-point increase', and 'employed men' instead of 'advancements', 'working class', and 'a 12 percent increased'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is generally clear, but agreement, article use, possessive structures, and sentence formation contain recurring errors.
Revise structures such as 'the highest rate was', 'men's and women's employment rates', and 'both figures increased by at least 12 percentage points'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows information on employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.