The graph shows Japanese average monthly salary (Yen) from 1953 to 1983, and the prices of black and white television and colour television during the same period.
Sample Response
The line chart depicts the average monthly income of Japanese individuals as well as the prices of black-and-white and colour televisionsthe pricing of black and white and colour televisions over a 30-year periodduring a period of 30 years. Overall, as the average wage rosethe average wage witnessed an upward trend over time, the prices of both types of televisionthe price of both types of televisions plummeted. Additionally, for the majority of the time, television prices were higherthe cost of television was higher than the average monthly wage in Japan. Initially, a black-and-white television cost roughly 110,000 Yen in 1953. The price dropped sharply by the early 1960sten years later, then progressively dropped to around 20,000 Yen by 1983. Colour televisions followed a similar pattern, costing around 100,000 Yen when they initially came out and then falling dramatically in price over the years to just below 50,000 Yen by the end of the period. Meanwhile, at the outset of the period, the typical Japanese monthly wage (20,000 Yen) was merely around one fifth the cost of aua black-and-white television. From 1953 until 1973, when it surpassed the cost of black-and-white televisions, the salary rose steadilythe amount progressively increased before skyrocketing to about 6570,000 Yen in 1983.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response identifies the opposing overall trends and supports them with several relevant starting and ending figures, while its sentence structures are varied and mostly well controlled. The main limitation is that the timing of the wage crossover is imprecise and some important intermediate comparisons are compressed. Prioritise grouping the three series into clear paragraphs and anchoring crossover points and major changes more accurately to the graph.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview captures the main opposing trends and most figures are plausible, but the wage crossover timing and some intermediate changes are not reported precisely.
State the crossover at its approximate plotted point and add one accurate mid-period comparison among all three series.
Coherence and Cohesion
The description progresses sensibly from the overview to television prices and salary, but it is presented as one dense paragraph.
Separate the overview and the detailed comparisons into distinct paragraphs to make the progression easier to follow.
Lexical Resource
There is a useful range of trend and comparison vocabulary, with occasional awkward choices and one distracting typographical error.
Use more precise nouns for each series and proofread phrases such as pricing, the amount, and ua black-and-white television.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex sentence forms is handled accurately, and errors rarely interfere with meaning.
Tighten reference in long sentences so pronouns and relative clauses point unambiguously to the relevant series.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph shows Japanese average monthly salary (Yen) from 1953 to 1983, and the prices of black and white television and colour television during the same period.
Your response
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