The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market.
Sample Response
The bar chart outlines how many Japanese travelled overseas between 1985 and 1995 while the line graph shows the percentagedelineates the percentages of these tourists who visited Australiavisited Australia in particular between 1985 and 1994. Overall, the number of Japanese who travelled overseasmade overseas travels rose substantiallysoared and this is also true for the Japanese visitors to AustraliaAustralia visiting travelers from Japan. As can be seen from the chartsillustration, around 5 million Japanese citizens travelled to different countriestravelled different countries in 1985 and this figure increasedwhich kept on increasing each year except in 1991. From approximately 7 million in 1987, the figureFrom approximately 7 million tourists in 1987, it went as high as 12 million over the following six yearsin just 6 years. Finally, in 1995, about 15.5 millionaround 15 million Japanese travelled abroadtoured foreign countries which was three times the figure fromthree times higher than that of a decade earlier. The line graph shows that 2% of Japanese tourists2% Japanese tourists visitedreached Australia in 1985 and, after rising steadily,and with a steady increase this figure went as high as roughly 5% in 1988. The next year the ratio slightly dipped but went higher each year in the subsequent years. Australia received more than 6% Japanese travellers in 1993, the highest, which stood at exactly 6% in 1994.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response provides a clear overview and selects accurate, well-chosen figures from both charts, including the temporary dips and the strong overall rises. Its main weakness is presentation in one unbroken paragraph, compounded by several awkward collocations and missing prepositions. The most valuable improvement would be to separate the two datasets into distinct body paragraphs and refine expressions for proportions and overseas travel.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and accurate, well-selected data cover both charts and highlight their principal rises and temporary declines.
Strengthen the synthesis by explicitly linking the expanding outbound total with Australia's increasing market share.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically from the overview to each chart, but the absence of paragraph breaks makes the response less effectively organized.
Use a separate body paragraph for each chart while keeping the overview distinct from supporting figures.
Lexical Resource
A good range of trend language is used with some precision, although several travel and proportion collocations are awkward.
Refine expressions such as "travelled to different countries," "Japanese visitors to Australia," and "the proportion of tourists."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex sentences are generally well controlled, with occasional missing prepositions, unclear reference, and article errors that do not impede meaning.
Check noun phrases after percentages and ensure relative clauses have clear referents and complete prepositional patterns.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.